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| Open Poetry #37 |
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Back to ring-a-rosy now |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland 
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"Ground once sweet is now stained red Look at all this life been bled Breathe into you this last pained breath For from this war has come your death" I'm sorry Mum, I'm sorry Dad I tried to make you proud The bullets blowing past my head No longer sound so loud My love to you, and all I loved I know I shouldn't cry But my tears come from the knowledge that my loved ones have to die I know I had to be strong in mind Ignore those that I have killed But the images of their lonely deaths are too vibrant to be stilled There are so many things I haven't done Swum the oceans, climbed up trees To be able to run in the light of day and enjoy the bliss of being free "You should be proud to fight this war" Many times I have been told But I didn't want to die like this I'm only eight years old farewell the ash-tray girl |
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| © Copyright 2006 cheye - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poettothecars Senior Member
since 2006-02-10
Posts 1093New Zealand |
A beautiful piece, only to be let down in places by its own rhythm of existence Please take care, when considering your choice of rhyme. Some appears to be forced by default (killed, stilled) and trees and free does not in truth rhyme a poet who cares |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
ahh yes I've never been a rhymer, I found this a while ago in an old notebook and thought it related to a few things going on nowadays. perhaps I'll just surrender to free verse. *grin* thanks a lot farewell the ash-tray girl |
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