Ode to the Out-house - pipTalk Forums

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WindWalker
Senior Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 1218

0 posted 2006-04-09 09:46 PM

When man learned to live in groups,
he had to dispose of his daily wastes.
Of necessity, he invented the shovel
and wherever he went, he dug holes:
some to gather water, some to defecate in.

The holes soon became too numerous
and too dangerous, not to mention
the ever-present odour wafting over
the little walled-in settlements.
Unwilling to accept the land's offer
to let him roam freely from forest to plain,
he invented the out-house,
a place of relief and meditation;
a GIANT step forward in evolution.
(Had he foreseen such meditation
would lead to organized religion,
he might have reconsidered,
but he didn't and he didn't.)
The hole was dug, the house was built,
it's use enforced by Official Statute.

Sadly, inevitably, the hole filled up
and the nauseous smell rose up once more,
so the house was moved, the hole covered
and that problem solved--out of smell, out of mind...
But, someone fell in one day and drowned,
unpleasantly: there was an odorous funeral
followed by a strike of shovel operators:
a series of problems led to the invention
of the well-known flusher: now man's wastes
could flow directly into his waterways: yet ANOTHER
giant step in evolution!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2006-04-09 10:49 PM

All sorts of stuff popped into my mind WW...thrones, castles...libraries...
Your most poignant verse stated that man gave up the invitation to move freely across the earth...and I know in my heart, we have sought the way back ever since...attempting to escape all the STUFF. Apparently, there were more than a few holes in that theory.

Smiling at the organized religion comment.
TD

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member

since 2006-02-11

Posts 1403
Virginia

2 posted 2006-04-10 12:28 PM

LOL Another wonderful write. I always enjoy the workings of your mind.
I had to read this one immediately upon seeing the title. Every morning I stumble sleepily to the out house. (I scurry sleepily during the winter months) It is upon that throne that I have brought forth my greatest creations. ::smiles:: They slowly decompose...like everything else. I find comfort in the equality.

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