Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
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0
posted
2006-03-25
08:22 AM
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Rewrite:
Commitment
She the tongue that strikes the bell He the wrung and tolling shell Floating o’er the valleys green Eden of the lovers’ scene
Vibrations we think are frail Forever wail in ghostly sail Nirvana flies within the store Touching tasting every shore
Sentience does try the goal Cutting echoes in the soul Doubt and earthquake stir and shock But here this alter stays a rock
Garroting seems to choke the head Seething thwarts the wedding bed But holy vows and oaths were swore And hemlock cannot kill the core
She the tongue that strikes the bell And he the wrung and tolling shell
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bslicker
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
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1
posted
2006-03-25
08:54 AM
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enjoyed bernie  A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. Bernie Slicker
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Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
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2
posted
2006-03-25
10:17 AM
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Hmmm! Sounds like another cruise is in order! 
Loveya, T-Man! EA

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Buttons
Junior Member
since 2006-02-27
Posts 34
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3
posted
2006-03-25
11:50 AM
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Incredible write!
Buttons
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Mysteria
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
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4
posted
2006-03-25
12:55 PM
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Oh mercy! It's the wrath of Isabel! I love Earth Angel's reply - LOL, perhaps she is right Sy?
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Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville
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5
posted
2006-03-25
03:46 PM
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Very well written – I think the word is tight – or maybe it’s succinct, either way I enjoyed the read.
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passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
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6
posted
2006-03-25
03:48 PM
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another Sy masterpiece 
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MGROVES
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
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7
posted
2006-03-26
08:22 PM
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your the best  My spirit will rise above the sea~ There will be no drowning of my soul or me~
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
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8
posted
2006-03-26
08:33 PM
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To all the above thank you all so much. I have a bad cold and snuck out of bed to answer you.
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