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suthern
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0 posted 2006-03-08 11:49 AM


Ecumenical Education

Grief is a teacher

No professorial pontification
Or formal classes
Are offered
But registration
Is not optional
Students are summoned
To its seminars
Attendance is required

The syllabus is flexible
With instruction tailored
To the individual

Lessons are learned by living
And by acceptance of
Our limitations
Each passing grade
Is earned at great cost
And homework is unceasing

But ultimately, focus shifts
From dwelling on despair and loss
To appreciating what luck
Once graced our existence

We eventually acknowledge
That embracing the pain
Doesn’t enhance memory
Just withholds comfort
And denies recall of joy

No diplomas are awarded
We graduate to awareness

That the legacy of love
Should not be reign of tears
Or lack of laughter
But a kindly heart
More capable
Of compassion

(Dedicated to my Daddy, 3/8/1919-11/13/2005)

© Copyright 2006 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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1 posted 2006-03-08 12:09 PM


You know I have kept all these tributes and this one in particular hits home for me, with this its last stanza.  For without the process, how would we be better for it?
quote:
That the legacy of love
Should not be reign of tears
Or lack of laughter
But a kindly heart
More capable
Of compassion
Doesn't make the loss any less painful but gives some purpose to the process in a way doesn't it?  

Martie
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2 posted 2006-03-08 12:20 PM


Ruth...Thank you for this....you are a wise woman and I think you have a degree that you're not admitting to.  
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2006-03-08 12:32 PM


Dear Ruth~I really really needed to read this today...
Thank you for sharing this with us now.
Heart Hugs~Nancy

~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2006-03-08 12:41 PM


suthern
Didn't I say you were a butterfly today.
Beautiful write.

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2006-03-08 12:45 PM


OhSweetSisterOfMyHeart~

Especially today ... this touches me deeply~

Your loved one ... your loss
My loved one ... my loss
And through it all ... trying to tread tears by holding onto memories preserver~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -   noles1@totcon.com

skyshine
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Beneath the northern stars
6 posted 2006-03-08 01:01 PM


I am very soorry to hare about your dad's death, Suthern. I did not know this until I read your poem. But this is a very wise piece. I never thought of grief in quite this way before.

~sky

I hope someday you get the chance to live like you were dying....
~Tim McGraw

OwlSA
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since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
7 posted 2006-03-08 02:41 PM


"You're a better (man!!) than I am, Gunga Din", Suthern.  After nearly 4 years, I still don't want to not embrace the pain - but I relate well to the rest of the poem and acknowledge the truth (for other people) of that one part that I don't relate to.  

A wonderful poem embued with Suthern-wisdom, maturity and courage.  Thank you for sharing this very intimate thinking with us.

I haven't seen the other 13 parts to Reflections of Grief.  Would it be a terrible imposition for me to ask you to email me the other 13 to save me the time and money of searching for them?  I understand if you don't have them at hand and if you don't have time.

- Owl

Ratleader
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8 posted 2006-03-08 02:45 PM


....sigh.....

You know my thoughts, dear lady.....you've had such grief, and now yet another....it puts cracks in my heart, just to think of it.

This is a subject you know far too much of, Laura....far, far too much.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

beaniebaby
Member
since 2005-11-17
Posts 55

9 posted 2006-03-08 02:47 PM


ah my friend, we too are lucky for your daddy, for without him, there would not be you...
this is beautifully and insightfully written
love you

icequeen
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since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
10 posted 2006-03-08 05:21 PM


You are wise, and wonderful... and you always share what needs be shared in a beautiful way.

Caroline

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
- Persian Proverb

OwlSA
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since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
11 posted 2006-03-08 05:41 PM


Thank you so much Ruth for sending the rest to me.  No rush, but just mentioning, in case you didn't get my email back, that XI, XII and XIII are missing.  As I said in my email to you in words to the following effect: they are all so beautiful, wise, mature and courageous - not to mention offering the reader understanding and solace and you have outdone your normal excellence with them.

- Owl

miscellanea
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since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
12 posted 2006-03-08 06:33 PM


suthern,

   You make it mighty hard to choose a favorite! This is superb, but so many of them are.  Still, I think I have a new favorite!  There is so much wisdom in this, said in such a poetic manner!  Running straight to the library with this!

   miscellanea

Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2006-03-08 07:08 PM


Oh my Ruth, this lands so gently and softly upon the soul...Peace to you sweetie...
Buttons
Junior Member
since 2006-02-27
Posts 34

14 posted 2006-03-08 07:30 PM


Liked this alot.  It sounds like you are an expert on the process.  Great poem!

       Buttons

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
15 posted 2006-03-08 07:42 PM


I'm sorry to hear about your dad. It must be tough. You write about it so beautifully though. And I know I'm stealing Rainbowdust's signature, but I think it's appropriate:

"The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears".

(Who better to "borrow from" than such a great poet; I know Rainbowdust won't mind.)

“True absurdism is not less but more real than reality”
- John Simon

suthern
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16 posted 2006-03-09 12:29 PM


My heartfelt thanks to each of you... for sharing my heart on a special day... and making each hour easier. *S*

Mysteria: That you have kept them truly touches me. *S* And you're right... for me, it helps to think there's some purpose beyond the pain. *S* Thank you!

Martie: If I do, it's from the school of hard knocks. *S* Thank you very much! *S*

Enchantress: Thank you, sweet lady... so much. I wish I could make things easier for you and Chris!

Seymour: You are so dear... Thank you very much... I'll try to take care of those wings! *S*

Marge: We'll tread tears together, my friend... friendship makes a fine raft. *S* Thank you so very much... and hugs to you.

skyshine: Thank you so very much for your kind thoughts... I appreciate them! *S*

Owl: The pain's there whether I embrace it or not... and probably makes me grow. I just refuse to welcome it. *S* Thank you so very much... I'm honored by your interest in the series! *S*

Ratleader: I do know your thoughts... and hope you know how much you've helped... even if I don't want cracks in that beautiful heart of yours. *S* Thank you, my friend... thank you.

beaniebaby: You dear... I wish I could hug you for that... thank you so much!!

icequeen: Neither wise nor wonderful, my friend... just trying to muddle through... but I thank you so much for seeing me so kindly. *S*

Owl: I can't tell you how you've touched my heart, dear friend... Thank you so much! *S* And yes... there are some missing... for I sent you the ones from PIP and several haven't been posted yet. *S* The numbers refer to when they were started... not necessarily when they were finished. *G*

miscellanea: I like some more than others... but can't choose favorites... they're all me. *S* But I'm so glad you like this one, especially since it's for Daddy. *S* Thank you so much!!

GS: Thank you so much, dear lady. *S* I'm glad it found such a lovely home. *S*

Buttons: I've lost a lot of the people I love... but I can't really claim credit for this series... it pretty much writes itself. *S* Thank you!!

Edward: Thank you... it is. *S* But I have so many good memories and I cherish them. *S* Thank you for that quote... it's lovely... and so true! *S*

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
17 posted 2006-03-09 12:59 PM


~ and through your poetry, you continue to be our teacher...

Ruth, my thoughts and love are with you.

Linda
Flower

XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403
Virginia
18 posted 2006-03-09 01:18 PM


The pupil has one teacher....himself
The teacher has one pupil....himself
Oh, How we teach, that we may learn.
((( Suthern )))   Beautiful!

suthern
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19 posted 2006-03-10 01:47 PM


EA: I feel both... and thank you so much!! *S*

Uriah: Thank you very much! *S* I'm so glad you liked! *S*

Marsha
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20 posted 2006-03-29 07:44 AM


Beloved one Oh my, can I ever hope to have one half of the ability you have? I think not, I do know you've had more than anyone's fair share of sorrow darling one, and I, even here across the miles and wide ocean, hold your hand and walk with you and I always will.

This is such a beautiful poem and shows in every single line how truly beautiful is your soul. No wonder I love you muchly

Love you ALWAYS
Like you FOREVER
Mushy
x x x x x
Words cannot express how amazing I know you are

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

Toerag
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Ala bam a
21 posted 2006-03-29 05:01 PM


This is incredible!!!!!
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
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USA
22 posted 2006-03-29 05:23 PM


"That the legacy of love
Should not be reign of tears
Or lack of laughter
But a kindly heart
More capable
Of compassion"

Surthern girl....this was a tremendously well donw poem.....the anaologies throughout are amazing.  All so true.  *hugs*...jo

latearrival
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since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
23 posted 2006-03-29 09:27 PM


Suthern, You are my teacher. You can say all the things I feel and say it so beautifully. Love to you, martyjo
passing shadows
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displaced
24 posted 2006-03-29 10:18 PM


what can I say that hasn't already been said?

just

suthern
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Louisiana
25 posted 2006-03-30 04:47 PM


Marsha: Who're you kidding, lady? *G* I've read your work... don't you be knocking your ability! *S* Thank you, sweet lady... you've listened to a lot of tears... and I appreciate you. *S*

Toerag: Thank you, my friend... so much!!

latearrival: You fill my heart, lady... you truly do. *S* Thank you!!

PS: Thank you so much! *S*

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
26 posted 2006-04-19 03:32 AM


just wanted to let you know I reposted one of your favorites  
/pip/Forum94/HTML/002910.html

luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

27 posted 2006-04-19 06:53 PM


oh my gosh!
every single person at PIP should stand and applaud......and if no one else joins me, then I still will *stands and starts the applause*
oh my gosh, I have never read such wisdom lady........wisdom at a price no one is willing to pay, but a price that is exacted regardless

StevenS
Senior Member
since 2005-09-21
Posts 945
L. A. (Lower Alabama)
28 posted 2006-04-19 08:42 PM


Great write Suthern. :-)
suthern
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Louisiana
29 posted 2006-04-20 02:43 PM


PS: Thank you for letting me know... It is indeed one of my favorites... and I found The Planetarium, too! *S* Thank you!

luminosity: Oh, lady... your generosity and enthusiasm take my breath away... how can I hope to find words beyond these two... Thank you!!! *S*

Steven: Thank you very much! *S*

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