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Open Poetry #37
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Green Clouds
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Green Clouds |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Green Clouds I want to tell you I pretended they were clouds, and I don’t know why I want to lie, but I do. They were maple trees and they made good shade, something important when it’s a hundred every day and you still have the responsibility of playing, let alone the deed of getting to the woods, but that is all they were, not clouds. Sometimes a plane would go over on its way to the airport down in the river bottoms; if it was a big one, maybe a Constellation and you paid attention, you could feel it long after the propeller drone was gone, the air just push once to the side and then back with a faint coolness, this side then that side. If you were standing under one of those maples then you could hear the tree feel it in its leaves but you couldn’t hear it if you were lying down, it was so faint and trees have almost no voice unless a tornado makes them scream out to the world that they are afraid of dying too. On a good, quiet day you could hear them. A maple alone is the best tree there is, and it can be a cloud if you pretend, the way I didn’t, when you truly need a cloud but don’t have one, or it can be a maple tree with fifty feet of shade, and in season it drops the instant helicopter toys of its seeds, all spinning down on you like a cloud that makes slow green twirling rain. In woods they’re nothing special except in fall, but alone, if you could make a cloud hold still, zigzag a line of green clouds to the woods and back, if you could do that, and I already said I couldn’t, but if you could on a day so standing still that you can feel an airplane from a mile up, you could pretend those maple trees were clouds. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed A feeling of power perhaps in being able to make something into something else?? Don't know. I can make clouds into all kinds of things, but never tried it with a tree. Yeah, I think I'd like to make a green cloud...or maybe a green one with pink flowers!!  |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
In woods they’re nothing special except in fall, but alone, if you could make a cloud hold still, zigzag a line of green clouds to the woods and back, if you could do that, and I already said I couldn’t, but if you could on a day so standing still that you can feel an airplane from a mile up, you could pretend those maple trees were clouds cool idea mr. man =] - wolf In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor and with crystal key in secrecy he opened an ivory door -J.R.R. Tolkien(T.Bombadil-the adv |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
and in season it drops the instant helicopter toys of its seeds, all spinning down on you like a cloud that makes slow green twirling rain. This is such a magnificent combination of the limitless imagination of a child with the descriptive ability of a very talented poet... I hear the voices of both child and man as I read this... and if I'm quiet enough to also hear the voices of the trees it's because I'm awestruck. *S* I've made friends with many clouds and many trees... but you write wonder in a way I can only envy... and admire. *S* Beautiful!! |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
"but if you could on a day so standing still that you can feel an airplane from a mile up, you could pretend those maple trees were clouds." Absolutely spectacular poem! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I feel like sending each of you four good people an email, to thank you personally for responding to my poem. It's been a thing of desolation for me to see it fall, even though given its length and a subject that is outside PiP's common expectations, I didn't really think there would be much response. The trouble is, there's part of my soul in this one, part of who I am at the most basic level, and...... Anyway, it's so easy to say thanks for responding, that it's almost trite....but I do thank you, from miles deep. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I love this - for its conversational tone, for the way you know and love and bond with maple trees, for the uniqueness of your vision, and for the excellence of the poetic art. I am not sure what "it" in your response was referring to and if you were talking about one of the maple trees that fell - I couldn't find that in the poem, so perhaps I misunderstood your prose response - but if that is what you were saying, I know the ache the falling of a tree brings. I haven't seen maple helicopter seeds, but I have seen them on another tree or plant of some kind (I forget which - my son may remember, I must ask him). Don't listen to me when I say I don't agree with the line "In woods they’re nothing special except in fall" because I understand it in the context of your poem, but just for the record (and I don't mean this unkindly as I am sure you will realise, but being me, I have to say) there are lots of little lives and happenings in woods, right throughout the year. I love your poem. I understand so well about the green clouds. Often when I sit on Flicka (my late horse)'s Thinking Stone at his grave next to the heart-shaped bed of flowers that I have planted, I look up into the tree that my son planted for me in Flicka's memory (not a maple tree, but a plane tree) and live and love the wealth of the green leaves above me. I have never thought of them as a cloud, but I surely will now. - Owl |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Oops! How could I have misread the very line that I quoted! I see you were talking about there being nothing special about maple trees in a wood, not there being nothing special about woods in the fall. Sorry!!! - Owl |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Eddy darling man, now that is what I call excellent writing, I'm so glad I popped in tonight to read. This is something rather special, and I'm putting it into my library. I've just read this aloud to Gray, and he says this is one special poem, something very much out of the ordinary. High praise indeed. as always Mushy x x x Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
MARSHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Golly it's good to see you back here! You make my day just by peeping through the door! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Enjoyed the desriptions and feelings here Ed..thank you.. Goldenrose. Desire for nothing except desirelessness,hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes, want nothing and you will have everything.avatar Meher Baba. |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
RatL., Read this once before, but didn't have a chance to post. Nice comparison of trees and clouds. sadie |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Oh Ed, What memories your thoughts of Maples brought to me. Rich flowing sap dripping into buckets, to be made into syrup and sugar candy treats. The twined samaras we stuck upon our noses, and called ourselves Pinocchio. Now you and your poetic mind so keen have shown me shading clouds of green.Thank you for this. martyjo |
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StevenS Senior Member
since 2005-09-21
Posts 945L. A. (Lower Alabama) |
"I get a peaceful easy feeling!" I'll borrow that line from the old Eagles song. It seems to sum up how this made me feel. Enjoyed Ratleader! :-) |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
I love this. We have a poetry lesson in sophomore English today. Of course, I have an ill child and had to come home. This piece would have (and does) fit so nicely with our readings for the day. Beautiful writing! Patricia |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
amazingly profound... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I LOVED this poem!!!  I thoroughly enjoyed every single line! I don't just read your poetry, ~ I experience it!With love from one maple tree lover to another, Linda |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Ed- I don't even know what I enjoyed most about this wrote. Maybe it was the imagry that was so masterfully done, maybe it was... aw, heck... who am I kidding? I absolutely loved the entire thing. Please do this again, and again, and again...
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Misty Lilacs Senior Member
since 2005-11-15
Posts 1060White Birch Forest |
Ed ... this is awesome. I loved it, felt it and related to it deep in my being. You put so much into your poems. Thank you for sharing who you are. Hugs, Marti Every blade of grass has its angel |
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