Open Poetry #37 |
Tracing back |
FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
I trace my way back to your place, tanah merah to esplanade. I trace my way to your place, I heard the system says, "Wendege wendege wendege". I trace my way to your place, I saw the spot at the gate, where you paced... I trace my way to your place, I kept seeing your smiling face. I trace my way to your place, Along the way, I picked you up, bottled in my heart's space. I trace my way to your place, All the memories left me in daze. I trace my way to your place, I track the road like a maze. I trace my way to your place, This is just a passing phase. I trace my way to your place, 'cause there's no route to your heart, in any other way. [This message has been edited by FNG (02-27-2006 04:33 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2006 Danielle Tan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Neeraja Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812The Netherlands |
Smile... nice poem! Neeraja |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
FNG... You have asked for gentle critique, so all would ask is that you adhere to some simple spelling rules, cos nothing is more abrupt than reading a good poem only to come across a bump in one's imagination. Otherwise, I enjoyed your tracings... and will have to polish off one of my old traces... |
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FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
Hi thanks Sunshine Actually the language i spelled in there is Tamil (spoken by one of my races here). So the spelling rules you refered to means sticking to standard English? Thank you for your comments |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah, now, see? I learn something new every day. Thank you for enlightening me. It wasn't the foreign words I was referring to, just the "cos" word that I figured was just a slang spelling for because or 'cause or cause. I appreciate your understanding. |
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FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
okay Now i got it. Thanks Appreciate your feedback |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
Greatly enjoyed FNG. |
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FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
Thank you Lady, |
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Air Goddess Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 108Canada |
I love it! |
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FNG Member
since 2006-02-07
Posts 477 |
Thanks for reading, Air Goddess and glad you like it. |
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