Ebenezer Caesar, Expert Parking Meter Reader & Carpet Beater

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Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2006-02-26 12:56 PM

(Many have pressured me to write a sequel to my novelty Christmas hit, "Ebenezer Caesar, The Misunderstood Freezer Meister", LOL!

Well, here it is! Hope this rings to your ears! (giggles) )

Ebenezer Caesar, Expert Parking Meter Reader & Carpet Beater
By: Noah Eaton
2/25/06

(Say, you remember our good buddy Ebenezer, right,
y’know, that lil’ teaser that lived in his freezer?
Well, I gather you’re curious how he’s been since,
so here’s a sequel that’ll warm up each square meter...)

In a well-mannered way,
he moved into a yurt on Biscayne Bay,
developing a wicked game of armadillo croquet,
mopping the green at the Chokoloskee Invitational.
He’s let his upright freezer salt away,
stays up til four indulged in single crochet,
treats Craft Corner Deathmatch like a second grade field day,
or drama queen improvisational.
Loves an afternoon river raft ride on his cafeteria tray,
aspiring to upgrade to a manta ray cabriolet,
and make it to Narragansett Bay by the break of day,
for the 117th annual shadow play congregational.

Presenting a whole new Ebenezer Caesar,
did I mention he’s a flirtatious parking meter reader,
he balances two paid jobs as a Polyneux Elementary intercom reader,
and your friendly neighborhood carpet beater,
he can be quite quirky, quite the lotus eater,
but he has more warmth than a kerosene heater,
raise that blue peter,
in honor of a newly-improved Ebenezer Caesar.

He’s made a couple close friends,
that live in a gulch buried in a magnolia bend,
they’re as tight as a frozen fisherman’s bend,
ah yes, his life’s real kosher.
One by the name of Cuddly Studley Dudley,
who founded a convention show on battling dust bunnies,
thus piqued Ebenezer’s interest in this easy money,
with a lust for life like an oven stuffer roaster.
Then there’s Pahayokee Phil,
lanky with a nose like a crane’s bill,
who customized a space station from a cider mill,
hunting for extraterrestrial roller-coasters.

Presenting a whole new Ebenezer Caesar,
did I mention he’s a flirtatious parking meter reader,
he balances two paid jobs as a Polyneux Elementary intercom reader,
and your friendly neighborhood carpet beater.
He can be quite quirky, quite the lotus eater,
but he has more warmth than a kerosene heater,
raise that blue peter,
in honor of a newly-improved Ebenezer Caesar.

Nails each quintuple lutz in lilypad figure skating,
something about his nimbleness is reinstating,
with him around there’s never any muckraking…

Presenting a whole new Ebenezer Caesar,
did I mention he’s a flirtatious parking meter reader,
he balances two paid jobs as a Polyneux Elementary intercom reader,
and your friendly neighborhood carpet beater.
He can be quite quirky, quite the lotus eater,
but he has more warmth than a kerosene heater,
raise that blue peter,
in honor of a newly-improved Ebenezer Caesar.

He beats that eyebrow tweezer by and large,
forget the Groove Jet’s cover charge,
send all your fond regards,
to our friend of former Frigidaire residence.

Presenting a whole new Ebenezer Caesar,
did I mention he’s a flirtatious parking meter reader,
he balances two paid jobs as a Polyneux Elementary intercom reader,
and your friendly neighborhood carpet beater.
He can be quite quirky, quite the lotus eater,
but he has more warmth than a kerosene heater,
raise that blue peter,
in honor of a newly-improved Ebenezer Caesar.

(Did I mention he’s dating the flying purple people eater,
hee hee hee,
he’s quite the zebra cake,
ah-ha ha ha ha ha!)

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.