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Open Poetry #37
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Aqueous humour changed.
| Open Poetry #37 |
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Aqueous humour changed. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA 
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Aqueous humour changed. I see no stars wandering about your face anymore and in a blink I knew, my eyes were dirty dry and thirsty so I wept the disease of knowing you away. Dilated - I was pupil Blurred taking you in, much too seriously for your art with final flaws that come with the territory it is all lost in my eyes. But I noted - scholar to your kind you will never focus nor wean from the sickly drops of your only heaven that every star falls behind. Now Iris, my goddess has her rainbow encrypted behind hazel returned absorbing light - a planets ring of black that will swallow you whole when you look at me that way again.. |
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RedStoneEB Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772uk |
Haven't read your work in awhile to be honest i haven't read anyones work in a while but then i remembered something we all have our own styles and this is your style simpleness is usually complete i liked the style had this certain pattern to it enjoyed the poem |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I think I have understood this one except perhaps for the last stanza. Amongst all the other qualities of your poem, I enjoyed the interesting blend of physiology (e.g. the title) and the emotions (after all, that is what we are that combination) that you do so well. I think he has hazel eyes, and that you are saying that Iris, goddess of the rainbow (and of course clever connection with the iris of the eye) has made his aqueous humour dysfunctional (as yours is earlier in the poem) – in other words, it is extremely unlikely that he will look at you that way again . Whether I am completely off track or not, I wallowed in the sensitive excellence of your beautiful poem. - Owl |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
always, you offer unique imagery and this? is a feast for the eyes |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
sounds like out with the old and in with the new . . . tossing away the ghosts, yes? Its lovely. |
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Dominique-Simone Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643 |
Now Iris, my goddess has her rainbow encrypted behind hazel returned absorbing light - a planets ring of black that will swallow you whole when you look at me This poem draws you in...great job |
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EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
GENIUS! No more need be said! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Gemma, you go girl! This is a tremendous write...you are so very talented!  ...jo |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Absolutely BRILLIANT! youm xx oh, library. how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very neat write! |
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