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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #36 |
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Concerning Erato |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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The Muses, gathered on a large island of a rock Are all posed reposed, wind-blown and tousled As if in a painting Dressed, rather, as one would expect them to be In not much more than sheathes of silk And that, the color and mere substance of sea foam Doing, I guess, what Muses do when they gather Which today, is discussing the matter of Erato Where she might be and why she is missing The gulls say they’ve not seen her, but they are gulls Concerned mainly with what affects, them And for all of their chatter, have little to say Erato had spent the evening in dark corner booth Discovering spiced rum to be more heady, than thoughty Collecting paper umbrellas and numbers on matchbooks The night, in a rented bed, listening to the echoes Of its labored creaking and the thinning of night traffic Watching rectangles of light travel the walls and ceiling In the morning she left him with only impressions Of her head on the pillow, of her hip in the mattress Her scents, the sounds she made, sealed in his memory ************************************************* Yeah...This is crap, but I tired of trying to get it to say something [This message has been edited by wranx (08-08-2005 11:25 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...trust me....it says something!!  |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
whatever *slap* Now I see a lot in this, Eddie. Don't you see? She has strayed from what she knew - finding herself again then leaving the man to figure it all out. You write of women as if you creep right into their brains. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx Shadows that speak. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You're not the only writer that creeps into a woman ... there are one or two others at PiP... who have that unique ability. Call it what you will, m'friend... but never that. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Crap? I think not...and stand down here firmly chanting along with all the echoes above me... You silly man! EXCELLENT Prose! Yanno, it's so true, the ones "we" think are the weakest, are the ones everyone else thinks are sensational, and this is no exception...BRAVO |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Hey Ed...you make me wanna through my pens away and start all over....  you always amaze In your light I learn how to love |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
If your ink were toilet water, you still could not write "crap".  check yer messages, will ya? |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Poets almost always mis-value their own work. Some over, some under, but they almost never hit it exactly and some miss rather badly. I know one who left a full half of her best poetry chained in notebooks -- things that would (and some have now) tie your heart in knots -- because she thought it was unworthy....and still doesn't trust her own judgment about it. You, my friend, are not quite where she was...but you do undervalue. This is a textbook example of how to create atmosphere in a poem. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ [This message has been edited by Ratleader (10-27-2005 07:21 PM).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
and this, left my head with impressions those tousled muses muss your hairs nicely crap? lol, then give me some of it to shovel onto these pages |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
*bump* Check your email Ahavah Nikki |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
crap? no way. if so, send more my way. You are a true artist yanno? |
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Angelheart Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754Jacksonville,FL USA |
nice. thanks for sharing. Poetry can get you very far |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
What Midnitesun said....I concur. Sorry I haven't been around much lately to read more of you; I think you are one of the best writers here. .....jo |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
What the SereneOne said... You just don't do 'crap'.. *smile* This is beautiful, Ed... "When the power of love overcomes the love |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"In the morning she left him with only impressions..." Hey Man, at least you got away clean; look at the hooks she put in Poe. Besides, remember what Coleridge said, "Once a lyre always a lyre." ...or something like that. *GRINNNNNNNNNNNNN* (It is good stuff bro'.) |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"In the morning she left him with only impressions Of her head on the pillow, of her hip in the mattress Her scents, the sounds she made, sealed in his memory" Glad this was bumped... she is the siren of words and she sang through you.. really, wonderful stuff.  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
I am grateful that Ed (Rat) bumped this because more people needed to read it. It really is a story within itself, Eddie ~~~ Ahavah - I wonder how many people truly know the meaning of that . . . |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey Uncle Yeti...  Miss you lovie. and um, Susie Q? Check YOUR IM.  |
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time prophet Member
since 2003-07-30
Posts 371In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees |
You just said a real mouthful, and it is good. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Yes time prophet, it seems with wranx? A little dab'll do ya.  Beautiful writing Ed. You have earned your light up muses beads. If we ever have snail mail service, you'll see what I mean. (Krewe of Muses, folks, a benign carnival gift for a lovely poet.)  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Finally ~ Time to read, and this was absolutley worth waiting to read tonight by candlelight. Beautiful work Ed. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Bumping for the noobs. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I don't think this is "crap". Period. |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
you are like pizza my friend, even when you are bad you are good. -majnu |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Excellent, wranx. Library. And, littlewing, wranx, anyone, what is ahavah please? - Owl |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
A lot said here! I wouldn't change it a bit. misc |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wonderful write Ed. Much enjoyed. hugs, Chris |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
LOL Diana . . . funny you should ask, ahavah is in so many words: LOVE - a high spiritual state - a complete bonding. In the study of Kaballah. |
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