»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #36
»
Season of Storms - Repost Open 1
| Open Poetry #36 |
|
Season of Storms - Repost Open 1 |
|
|
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
|
I could feel the tempest's wrath driving waves like slaves Lashing out with transient whip to all who misbehave Trees genuflect at the mighty maelstrom's throne He snapping trunks like twigs and like leaves thrown Waves come crashing, smashing against the sand-bag reef Scurrying slickered souls bracing in storm's bitter teeth Boats tossed about like toys in a cheesy B-rate show Snapping their moorings and sinking down below The skies clear but briefly for the tempest's eye Blue is mirage, for winds come from other side All is clear, the skies are bright, all water still Steam rises from the pavement curling 'round broken sill Children play in puddles and wade through flooded road Disbelieving parents find insurance null and void I ply my little flat bottom boat, a comedy of error Delivering this day's mail along with hollow prayer My boat is fully of kittens and pups, rescued from the stew Like them, and me, and all, heartbeats like with you Alicat |
||
| © Copyright 2005 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Whenever I read you, I remember the good ole days of the Pip poetry room. I would love to hear this read by you. (Some of the meter faltered for me, but I figured I was reading it wrong.) There are many images you give life with verbiage, but genuflecting trees have long been a favorite with me. Yet you juxtapose imagery from the past with modern day visuals: "Scurrying slickered souls bracing in storm's bitter teeth Boats tossed about like toys in a cheesy B-rate show" The first stanza, first rate. I couldn't help feel like there was a bridge missing between first and last stanza though. I enjoyed it all, but felt the last stanza was almost dismissive, (wince--y'don't mind me saying so, me hopes)  But the tone throughout was certainly otherworldly...and I always fancy a dance through dream meadows.  |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
All this in Yuma? lol, just kiddin I enjoyed being tossed about in this, and hope you pen more often in Open. |
||
|
lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Yes I agree... The good old days... Maybe we should start a club..? Lucky Dale |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I ply my little flat bottom boat, a comedy of error Delivering this day's mail along with hollow prayer My boat is fully of kittens and pups, rescued from the stew Like them, and me, and all, heartbeats like with you ~*~ Brings to mind the stories I have heard of the '51 flood on the plains, here... and those who are awaiting the next storm with every rise of black bottomed cloud... |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*pout* I wanna go to Denny's! (sorry, that was a flashback) an omelet would be kewl tho with those little hash browned patty thingies....ooooh *chuckle* (gonna give Kari HELL one day  ) |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
could feel the tempest's wrath driving waves like slaves Lashing out with transient whip to all who misbehave Trees genuflect at the mighty maelstrom's throne He snapping trunks like twigs and like leaves thrown Waves come crashing, smashing against the sand-bag reef Scurrying slickered souls bracing in storm's bitter teeth ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ well that just rocks read aloud... and the inner rhymes, allits all added to the assonance and cadence... we dont get the chance to read you very often...so its always a treat to learn from your poetic mastery. I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hey Sissie K... we've got Denny's... and IHOP too... Mountain Jack... and Dippity Doo... 31 flavors for those cones... and Frescas with jerky... you'll be glad you came home! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
