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Open Poetry #36
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Light anomalies
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Light anomalies |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA 
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I saw you looking past the white in the middle floor eyes glazed in the haunt (a thousand anomalies of light dancing moved by my breath) you will never witness in your photographs. And witness I, am never spoken of past midnight in your home not even the walls say my name after light has passed me to you there is no middle earth, no soil and sanctuary in finding bloodlines Think (as you do, come sunrise) of bitterness dissolving inbetween sunken wood floorboards of our home breathing mouth to mouth into the grave. . . . |
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| © Copyright 2005 gj - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
oh gawd, but this one breathes heartache but those walls and floors talk, yanno? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Think (as you do, come sunrise) of bitterness dissolving inbetween sunken wood floorboards of our home breathing mouth to mouth into the grave. L3ve that ending...love its author  beautiful |
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DennisTheMenace Member
since 2005-09-04
Posts 240 |
pretty girl U heady beyond me on this one, can't say I follow it all, but then agin my brain is getting fried by finals loved it |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Ugh, you're going to kill me. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"of bitterness dissolving inbetween sunken wood floorboards of our home" damn...I think I am going to cry. It's Christmas and I got my present.  Very, very good stuff Gemma!"too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
ohhh my, this one certainly ached, especially the ending... You've got my heart for sure... Hugs |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Damn this aches...beautiful. you make me sigh Gemma babe a  m xx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
And witness I, am never spoken of past midnight in your home not even the walls say my name after light has passed me to you there is no middle earth, no soil and sanctuary in finding bloodlines ~spoken with wisdom nice work gem ~wolfman |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
The whole thing blew me away Gem, but the mention of the photo is astounding because that is where the soul hides . . . inside a photograph. You are amazing, this is so liquid. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
This quivers with pain, but so exquisitely expressed with sad, slow brush-strokes creating a masterpiece. I am sorry that such a beautiful, sensitive spirit has to bear such harshness. I have probably completely misunderstood the complexities of this poem. However, I would like to try to wander through what it paints for me. I realise that it is very personal, so I understand if you don’t explain it, but I really would appreciate your telling me where I am wrong (probably all the way through!). Starting with the title, it is the anomalies that are light, not the poem, nor the pain. I think that, in order to alleviate your anguish, you have allowed your mind to wander into a stream-of-consciousness-flow from one thought to another – sometimes from one meaning of a word to another meaning of the same word. I think that in some places, the anomalies are created by leaving out some words – almost like blacking out. Perhaps leaving out words has to do with the sadness and apparent hopelessness of the circumstances. I think that the parts in indented italics are not exactly another voice, but a deeper voice of the same person, a type of aside that you think, as opposed to say. “In the middle floor” could be the middle of the floor – or it could be the 2nd floor of a 3-storeyed building – either a house – or an apartment on the middle floor. Following on my interpretation of “white”, my guess is that it would be in the middle of the floor. The “white” I think, was first of all something white in the middle of the floor – possibly a patch of light - but you froze that train of thought before mentioning what it was. Then I think that made you think of the white(s) of his eyes, but then you left out the “of your” part of that and then it flowed into his glazed and haunted eyes. The “thousand anomalies of light dancing”, I think, are your thoughts wrapped in what you are seeing. The “moved by your breath” are the words of your poem that you are breathing/writing/creating/saying aloud. The “photographs”, I think, are his photographs of you - and I think what you are saying is that he won’t see/ acknowledge/ understand/ admit/ allow the essence of you/your thoughts/your poetry/who you really are – in the photographs that he hangs on to as though they are you, but they are not, they are just pieces of paper. Then the word, “witness” takes you in another direction. You don’t simply state that you are not spoken of in his home (presumably his parents’ home) past midnight (thus seriously). You say “witness” that you aren’t. Almost as though you are asking him to “acknowledge” it. The “walls” not saying your name emphasize with great beauty and poignancy that you aren’t appreciated there, nor even considered to have any importance of any kind. “after light/ has passed me to you” I think, is that you are not only the light of his life, but the light in his life too – and the two are not the same. He thinks, in the light of day, after the agony he has created for you during the night, that all the bitterness CAN disappear, but you know that it can’t. I think that the part about “no middle earth/ no soil and sanctuary/ in finding bloodlines” is that there is no alleviation of the problem because he takes after his family. The “breathing mouth to mouth” is, I think, a metaphorical and physical allusion to kisses seeming only like resuscitation – and that it is you that are keeping him going and that you feel bound to do that until death do you part (“into the grave”) and that there is no possibility of escape. However wrong I am in my vision of your poem, it remains a exceptionally beautiful work of art. - Owl |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Poignantly beautiful Gemma... truly enjoying your words more and more with each read. seek the flame within yourself |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
(a thousand anomalies of light dancing moved by my breath) you will never witness in your photographs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ amazing imagery....haunting... and those closing lines.... yowzers... like a kick in the chest... very impressive, expressive write Gemma-girl... and hey... ya even got Raph to say the L word...with the O  Thru the water...thru the rain |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
where heartache approaches a ghastly haunt... shudder at the imagery |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
I will reply to this. I promise, however I work doing transcriptions, and i have a deadline for tomorrow. I have a funny feeling i'll be up all night typing away nonetheless, just not at anything that intersting. Unless you find transcribing a badly taped interview of a man asking a group of primary school children questions about computers, who each in turn, give an inaudible, squeaky, drifting answer, interesting. inaudible will definitely be my most frequently used word tonight. ha Thankyou for your beautiful replies, they mean a lot, they always do. And Owl, i WILL get back to you....eventually |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Thanks, gemjop, for this slice of your life. It is interesting to know how others on this forum spend their time when they aren't wrapped in poetry. I did some transcribing a long time ago - court cases, so I know how difficult it can be to hear what is said - and the playing it over and over and over. I also love the way you described this particular one - methinks a poem should be conceived - pretty please? - not necessarily immediately. Looking forward to finding out how wrong I was! You don't need to be gentle about it. I won't be in the least embarrassed (I don't think). I have often been more wrong in my interpretations than one could ever imagine! - Owl |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
"and hey... ya even got Raph to say the L word...with the O" lobotomy? |
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