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Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2005-07-22 03:04 AM

I saw her standing there
upon the dingy green carpet
that has dwelled in this basement for so long
I saw her through a frame of drums
dented jet black toms
and a cymbal that gleamed half spectrums
only to accent her radiant presence
she wore pink jogging shorts and a loose t-shirt
her legs looked magnificant
her cheeks and forehead were rosy
and her hair was quite frizzy
she looked perfect
to this day
i don't know why she stopped by
but i'm so glad she did.

(A mental picture of a friend of mine kept coming into view as i attempted to get some rest a few moments ago. I just had to write it down. Bear with the poem, it was a spur of the moment write.)

nice use of muffin

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2005-07-22 06:50 AM

It's not so bad when such friends,
even mentally
create such a moment.

I enjoyed the visuals!

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

2 posted 2005-07-22 06:52 AM

Enjoyed sharing your memory~
So do You Play Drums?

~ARH

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take - but by the moments that take our breath away."

Don_Juan
Member

since 2004-04-08

Posts 252
Far from where I am going

3 posted 2005-07-22 01:09 PM

Thank you both for stopping by and taking a look at the poem. My friend definitely has an impact on people giving them many memories. Oh, and yes, I do play the drums. I am both a marching drum and drum set player.

Thanks again
-John

nice use of muffin

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

4 posted 2005-07-22 05:45 PM

cool imagery write
I saw her...in pink, smiling at you

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

5 posted 2005-07-23 12:55 PM

for a spur-of-the-moment write, this was rather good

perhaps for a more complete poem, you can include how this surprise encounter did to you. how did you feel when you saw her? were you watching her unnoticed?

i like the whimsical quality at the end

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2005-07-23 10:04 PM

thanks so much for the glimpse into your mind's photo album.

Nicely written, and I could certainly see her--there are moments made holy just by our awareness and you have portrayed such a moment here.

Much enjoyed.

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

7 posted 2005-07-24 12:07 PM

I liked this alot.

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

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