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Open Poetry #36
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replay lemonade
| Open Poetry #36 |
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replay lemonade |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal 
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she lay in her room cast in the shades of dark chocolate bittersweet where dreams are squares break off pieces of locked door rooms and the secrets they hold her mind savors the memories, a sort of— replay lemonade— the sour of “should have beens” made sweeter by— substitution— saccharine crystals of “could have beens” to ease the pucker of regret lost opportunities like so much potential spilt in the sink circling down the drain washing away to wherever it is that unfulfilled wishes went yet here, in this shadowed twilight before the stars meet for tea and the moon brings the gossip, here . . . there are no eyes to darken in pious disapproval no whispering voices chastising, just dreams to be sipped in whatever flavor she seeks s.a.t. note: dark chocolate entered my mind as a synonym for night as I lay replaying events of the past week - then i began to play with it - this is not a personal statement, just experimentation  btw - hey everyone! like the new look - |
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| © Copyright 2005 s.a.t. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Susan Enjoyed the write and the symbols used. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I like the style..I like playing around with words like u've done...makes me cravelemonade and some chocolate  If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Great write Susan! Eric |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very well done much enjoyed |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write Susan... Most enjoyable. Hugs~Nancy ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
thank you all most kindly |
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Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
That is how I think about Piptalk Bodger |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Susan~ I especially liked this thought - 'the pucker of regret' Nice to see you~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
a tasty treat this is though I favor coconut or berries over chocolate hmmm, raspberry syrup, drizzled.... now I'm getting hungry! |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
some day I will be dark chocolate instead of just dark stranger enjoyed it mrs |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
thank you my friends - you smile me - and D- giggle - S |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
"her mind savors the memories, a sort of— replay lemonade— the sour of “should have beens” made sweeter by— substitution— saccharine crystals of “could have beens” to ease the pucker of regret" I didn't even need your postscript. A startlingly clear poem. I love the metaphor running through out. Shelved in my library and there it shall remain. "And the sun went down, and the stars came out far over the summer sea, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I am such a fan of your writing! I truly am! I like how your 'poetical' mind works and how they spill from your illustrious quill! I sipped and savored every word! Warm hug. Warm smile.  Linda |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I like your style. -Juju Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
lost opportunities like so much potential spilt in the sink circling down the drain washing away to wherever it is that unfulfilled wishes went I love this!!!! Beautiful work, dear lady... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent work... and I want your photo back! |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
"her mind savors the memories, a sort of— replay lemonade— the sour of “should have beens” made sweeter by— substitution— saccharine crystals of “could have beens” to ease the pucker of regret" this is awesome |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
You are all so very kind and warm my heart - thank you -  Sunshine - wouldn't want to break any computer screens- tee hee Susan If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Goldenrose Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665 |
Sweet...like the chocolate...a poem tasting of flavours to savour..thank you.. Goldenrose. Desire for nothing except desirelessness,hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes, want nothing and you will have everything.avatar Meher Baba. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
your experiment, was a success then, enjoyed this muchly...good visuals...with a touch of sweet.... Hugs and thank you for sharing. |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thank you GR and LeeJ - for the warm and the kindness - S |
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SoundWaves Member
since 2005-06-22
Posts 113Center Stage |
Very Good! |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
"yet here, in this shadowed twilight before the stars meet for tea and the moon brings the gossip, here . . . there are no eyes to darken in pious disapproval no whispering voices chastising, just dreams to be sipped in whatever flavor she seeks" Susan, what a lovely flow.. This part took me right back to these blue pages and to the wonderful people who live within. Made me want to break out a bottle of Merlot and a box of deep dark chocolate ~~~ Thanks for this. martyjo |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
The stanza Marty quoted was my favorite yet the whole writing really grabbed me. Very well done... and I preferred the picture as well!! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Thanks - most kind - I so appreciate the encouragement - hugs Susan |
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