navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » And Another Thing...
Open Poetry #36
Post A Reply Post New Topic And Another Thing... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2005-12-27 03:55 PM



Turn around
don't walk away
I've more to say
Before you go
You should
know you caused this
hatred
birthed this baby
of contempt
with all your wanting
wicked lies
in truth's disguise
and I
believed...

but no
no more
it's done...it's past
I kissed your ass,
but not again
I'll stand and
watch you
as you go
to have this vision
etched in mind
of you in leave
with no reprieve
of circumstance
in retrospect
in knowing
of mistakes you made
and debts unpaid
that sure will linger
once your gone...

but go!

just turn your back in stab
it matters not to me
you see
I only wished to
say, "so long", and
hell no!
you'll not see a tear
in shed from vengeful
glare of eye

and, one more thing
before you go...


I loved you...


Did you know?

_____________________


*Inspired by a long-time-ago
challenge from Serenity...

© Copyright 2005 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-12-27 04:04 PM


ah HA!

You write beautifully when you are pissed.



I knew you had it in you, and I, *hic*, am glad you waited...

I saw the title and thought UH OH

and then I almost ducked.

Let it out, baby.

boom-boom-boom




Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2005-12-27 04:10 PM


Vicky....you go girl!!!  
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2005-12-27 07:14 PM


Karen...

This was actually written over a period
of time, since you gave me the challenge...

and then?...
I just had to be in the right
(or wrong) mood to post it...

Glad you like it...

Thank you...


Thank you, Martie...



"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Jeep Monkey
Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 96
Chaos
4 posted 2005-12-27 07:38 PM


Oh, I really REALLY like this.  "How dare you deny me the privilege of seeing your eyes as I hate you with so much disgust"......love love LOVE this.  Been there. Enjoyed that.  In my now-freedom, I love it still.

JM

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2005-12-27 07:43 PM


wow, you really cut loose!
feelin better now?

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
6 posted 2005-12-27 08:02 PM



Thanks, Jeep Monkey...
Glad you like it...

and Kacy?...

unfortunately, 'cutting loose' of this
sort never really feels good to me...
at least, not for long...

so, in answer to your question?...

not really...

but thank you...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
7 posted 2005-12-27 09:44 PM


*library* for when I'm in just such a mood.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
8 posted 2005-12-28 02:43 AM


"unfortunately, 'cutting loose' of this
sort never really feels good to me...
at least, not for long..."

Having read from start to end, I find the above worthy of being highlighted because I think you know that the "cutting loose" ... has damaged your soul (that's just the poet in me but, yes, something like that).  Good vent though and I hope for a speedy recovery!  

Helen

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
9 posted 2005-12-28 04:02 AM


GOD does this EVER scream!

"You should
know you caused this
hatred
birthed this baby
of contempt
with all your wanting
wicked lies
in truth's disguise
and I
believed..."


AMAZING!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2005-12-28 05:35 AM


Yes...so nicely concluded...

"and, one more thing
before you go...


I loved you...


Did you know?"

I really like that.

Eric

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2005-12-28 10:14 AM


*nodding*

uh huh.

Nice, very nice vent.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
12 posted 2005-12-29 10:38 PM


"and, one more thing
before you go...


I loved you...


Did you know?"


This part aches..."ouch..."

However..Always good to read you

hugs, g

"A tiger who does not prowl becomes a rug..."  ;)

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
13 posted 2005-12-30 01:50 PM


This is sooo good. I also loved your ending lines. best to you, martyjo
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » And Another Thing...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary