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Open Poetry #36
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Small Pain in myChest - the SONG!
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Small Pain in myChest - the SONG! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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In collaboration with a very talented singer/songwriter Joey Edgerly and his band, H-88, my poem "Small Pain in my Chest" has been turned into song. Call me biased but I think he did an incredible job . This demo was recorded as a rough draft! The final mix will have more piano and strings. He tells me that it is being performed before large crowds and the reception has been very enthusiastic and positive. Hopefully coming to a CD near you!! Please check out his website at: http://www.h-88.us/ http://www.dump.com/laqd/small-pain---the-song The soldier boy was sitting calmly underneath that tree. As I approached it, I could see him beckoning to me. The battle had been long and hard and lasted through the night And scores of figures on the ground lay still by morning's light. "I wonder if you'd help me, sir", he smiled as best he could. "A sip of water on this morn would surely do me good. We fought all day and fought all night with scarcely any rest - A sip of water for I have a small pain in my chest." As I looked at him, I could see the large stain on his shirt All reddish-brown from his warm blood mixed in with Asian dirt. "Not much", said he. "I count myself more lucky than the rest. They're all gone while I just have a small pain in my chest." "Must be fatigue", he weakly smiled. "I must be getting old. I see the sun is shining bright and yet I'm feeling cold. We climbed the hill, two hundred strong, but as we cleared the crest, The night exploded and I felt this small pain in my chest." "I looked around to get some aid - the only things I found Were big, deep craters in the earth - bodies on the ground. I kept on firing at them, sir. I tried to do my best, But finally sat down with this small pain in my chest." "I'm grateful, sir", he whispered, as I handed my canteen And smiled a smile that was, I think, the brightest that I've seen. "Seems silly that a man my size so full of vim and zest, Could find himself defeated by a small pain in his chest." "What would my wife be thinking of her man so strong and grown, If she could see me sitting here, too weak to stand alone? Could my mother have imagined, as she held me to her breast, That I'd be sitting HERE one day with this pain in my chest?" "Can it be getting dark so soon?" He winced up at the sun. "It's growing dim and I thought that the day had just begun. I think, before I travel on, I'll get a little rest .......... And, quietly, the boy died from that small pain in his chest. I don't recall what happened then. I think I must have cried; I put my arms around him and I pulled him to my side And, as I held him to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed The large one in my heart against the small one in his chest. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It was easy enough to cry over this one just in its reading alone... Now....it's golden rain! Congratulations, Michael! Be very, very proud of this one! We know a celebrity!   and you can be biased all you want, because I think the rest of Passions will feel the same way - he did an incredible job for a first cut! Let us know when this Texas band has the CD out! . |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
He did an EXCELLENT job Michael. I do a lot of this and I thought this was great. Super words too my friend. Eric |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer This is great, one of my favorites. Congrats |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
You've found a telling way to show the big story by sharing one moment of it. This is a great poem, and yes, I loved listening to it. Well done, sir! Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I guess I'm just gonna have to buy the cd, huh?  growls and winks I WANT MY ALTECS BACK.  This will prolly be picked up by a film production, become nominated (and win) an Academy Award for "Best Song" and then, and only then will I get to hear it as performed by Beyonce'.<--I get carried away at times.  Love ya Mike!  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Well, I remember the first time I read this I cried, as it gave me a big pain in my heart. And I cried again this morning, listening to this superb recording of your poetry. The music, the voice, the guitar, all fit together perfectly. A song one for all to hear. BRAVO! it's a very very fine offering, Mike. How could anyone listen to this, and NOT be moved to tears? |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful, Mike!! It sounds great!!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 Darn! I just did ma eyes! This is one that gets me every single time! Congratulations - and Karen is right, it may just get the attention it deserves in some way for sure! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Dear Michael This is FANTASTIC! I hope this will be recorded So amazed at your talent So touched by these sentiments So proud to be your friend Love you Liz |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
It's me again ... did you know Lizzie has her poetry being recorded too? Yup, the two of you make quite a pair. However ... Our Lizzie is not really great with computers so you will just have to phone her to listen to it  Merry Christmas you two talented people. |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
My heart breaks as I listen to your words, yet I smile at knowing, "Balladeer" the song writer. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Oh my gosh Deer, this is just so beautiful!!! I've read the poem I've heard you recite the poem (in New Port Richey) I've heard the song I loved it all and now "I WANNA HAVE THAT CD" Can I have your autograph please, Sir? Serenity is right, you're gonna be famous and then I'll tell my friends 'I know that Balladeer, he even hugged me in Tampa' and I'm sure they won't believe me  Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Mister Mack, your masterful words have been masterfully put to music! Even if the lyrics were not by you, Deer Man, I'd be buying the CD! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! A brilliant collaboration! I am so thrilled for you all! Now a screenplay needs to be written so that this masterpiece can be used as the theme song for the movie!!! Very impressive!!! Love & Congratulatory hugs, Linda |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
not as good as your original but then that is a lot to live up to. still its pretty cool. -majnu |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Congratulations Mike... hope it's a success for all concerned by whatever metrics anyone uses...  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ This is just such wonderful news to read and hear~ I visited Joey's homepage link and left a note in his guestbook~ This is, and has always been, one of my favorites of yours ... as I've said before, I will never, ever forget the night you read it at New Poet Richey ... ~ You are special~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*No matter what I search for ... |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
You are amazing and this was very touching! I know a local singer who could have done justice to this poem. But I never thought to ask you. Now it's done.Good for you. martyjo |
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Jeep Monkey Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 96Chaos |
This is so very good, Balladeer. Easy to see why one would put music to it. |
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Fagin Member
since 2004-05-07
Posts 126Ca |
You hit the nail on the head, specially when you figure I have been the one to be holdiing the friend that was fading away. Those that have been there will feel it the most. The cool thing is is that this piece bleeds sincerity and is not at all trite, and I have heard a lot of them that are. I'm downloading the song because the streaming is not working well enough to give it a good listen. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I want to thank you all for your support and your heart-warming responses. When the final cut is made I'll place it here somewhere. I consider you all good friends - thank you again. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
I think this needs a bump and I forgot to put it in my library and I just couldn't resist to listen again Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
OMG! OMG! OMG! Michael, this is absolutely wonderful! Can't wait to hear it on my radio! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I celebrate any reason to read this poem again for it's one of my favorites of your work... but I celebrate doubly knowing that will be finding an even greater audience. *S* yeee-HA!!!! *S* P.S... I never thought I'd smile while or after reading it... but this time... I do... even if the smiles come through tears. *S* Congratulations! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 An outstanding job! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Bravo!! believe in what your heart feels... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Mike - I've told you before that not only is this my favorite of yours, but also one of my all-time favorites. I appreciate the sincerity in which it is sung... it fits. |
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Neeraja Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812The Netherlands |
my favorite poem will now be my favorite song!!! Neeraja |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
(bump) |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
WooHoo!!! I get to add another name to my list of famous people I know. Seems Toerag was wrong about you all along. And I am thrilled you found dump.com because it has been a delightful addition to your craft. Thanks Mike. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LOL! Thanks again for the fun and also sincere replies. Larry, I'd have to invent a cookie to become famous!  |
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