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Open Poetry #36
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Like Pouring Salt Upon the Wound.
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Like Pouring Salt Upon the Wound. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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If I cried upon you, soaking rain of my body and you drank of me. If I crouched in panic stricken sadness and you crumbled seeds of meaning upon my bare skin, burning snow and thoughts ever flowing. Would you see me as I am, full of fantastic rage, building moment upon moment untill I've come to break? I will never beg. I will never beg. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"If I crouched in panic stricken sadness and you crumbled seeds of meaning upon my bare skin" Very cool stanza! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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D.Lester Young Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219Austin, Tx |
Vdry stromg emotional verse. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
and you never should because you are a proud woman and mother. |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
Exactly!! |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
nice. -majnu |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Would you see me as I am, full of fantastic rage, building moment upon moment untill I've come to break? I will never beg. I will never beg. these lines are key not only with regards to the subject, but to the structure of the poem. the first few lines are looser, and then suddenly tighten, building(as the rage) until it breaks into the last two lines. just phenomenal writing.. hugs ye *you're hot when you're angry  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I know the steel within with which you wrote this, but sadly, I have seen the steel within myself twisted into a Gorgon Knot. I salute you, while I mourn my own dignity. I think you are a force, all by yourself.  |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
*!$% ! was the word that came to mind when i read this. If I cried upon you, soaking rain of my body and you drank of me. If I crouched in panic stricken sadness and you crumbled seeds of meaning upon my bare skin, Meg. I always revel in reading you, especially when they are longer writes, because i never want them to end, and despite the fact that it leaves me wanting more, it is only because you're a favourite of mine and not because you need say anymore. this says it all. concise. wish i had written this. hugs meg, admire your strength. x |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
packs a punch in its brevity yet doesnt compromise in getting the biting message across this poem got teeth, you know? good stuff |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
oh but this ROCKS...and so do YOU Meg. placing this gently into my library mxx  how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
had to read this again. hugssssssss |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
like pouring fine wine in my mouth. thank u for the beautiful lines |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I needed to read this..ouch If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
Yes, inkedgoddess is right! This has teeth! But it also has heart and muscles and bone and spirit! You go, girl! We are all with you. - Owl |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
May I ask where the wild flowers grow? - Owl |
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