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Open Poetry #36
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Welcome To My Darkness (rev)
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Welcome To My Darkness (rev) |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa 
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Welcome to my darkness Please, do come inside Feel your way inside these cells But please don’t try to hide "An unsightly seething leaves Black thoughts that are teething" Into each thought Yourself, you have brought Ride my wave of madness Sink into thick mass There’s no need to get in line My mind will let you pass "Drowning satisfaction Greets logic held in traction" This motion in mind, Leaves sanity behind See the sight of sadness Frozen in its frown On your knees with just one look Your heads are facing down "Childhood tears are smiling As dead loved ones begin piling" Absolute misery, Leaves tears falling free Swim into my sickness Wade in puke of green Your healthy skin turns ghastly pale You dry yourself, unclean "Spitting out diseases While your suffering pleases" In deep you will wallow just don’t ever swallow Thank you for your visit Please, appreciate my pain If you can't find your own way out You may become insane "An opened mind now shuts tight As Darkness kills the escaping light" Exit full of fear never to come near ever...again "I have gone away. The bed is cold and empty. Trees bend their boughs toward the earth. And nighttime birds float as black faces." |
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| © Copyright 2005 JesusChristPose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sounds like a pretty spooky trip but still, the company would be nice |
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she'll_be_apples Junior Member
since 2005-07-11
Posts 22 |
darkness usually over shadows light, but the light eventually seeps through. Nice  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Lately I've become convinced that anything unceasing is a road to madness. As a lover of the dark, I glumly salute the sun now. Enjoyed this walk in the dark. (I actually see better in the dark.) But then, that might be because my pupils are quite often dilated.   |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
Darkness swirls drawing the reader deeper so that they must grab for the light to escape...Powerful writing...*hugs* |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Liked the rhythm and pace of this; very moving. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
That is pretty frightening! I liked the sort of back and forth like an argument going on in the mind.....really comes across effectively. .......but I will be back....lol |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I like the way you show the different voices. And the images, as before, are sharp and strong. I also like the use of rhyme. Well done. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa |
Thanks everyone... and I'm delighted that you enjoyed the play on words, Iliana. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this to me, is what people like Van Gogh and Einstein must have felt at times...being so much more intelligent and perceptive...they must have felt that they were not normal...b/c society, friends, family made them feel badly about themselves b/c they were gifted and more astute...society could have learned way more from these people, if they would have left them in.... Well done...I like the thoughts you provoke. |
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