might have been's..meant to be's...

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Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2005-12-19 11:03 PM

The past so distant
Yet I still taste the tears
Sometimes I choke in
my sleep
I hate when I find
myself tangled up
in might have been's
and meant to be's
I have a clear understanding
But blind hindsight
My heart can't
always see 20/20
I cry
When I can't reach out
When I lose focus
My strength is selective
My lucid emotions
Strangle my perspective
I hate missing
What I thought tasted
like destiny
So positive
Still feels real
When I'm all up in my head
No one can reach me
I won't let anyone
touch my dreams
I did once
One too many times
He killed my naivete
My blind faith
Now on crutches
My heart addicted
to old musings
Thirsty for God's twist of fate
To turn me upside down
Right side up
Make me believe Again
In something...
In me...
Make me believe
That I'm allowed
to have feelings
Without always free falling
with broken wings...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

1 posted 2005-12-19 11:18 PM

Very heartfelt write.
Enjoyed this tonight.
hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2005-12-19 11:36 PM

Kristen~

'I hate missing
What I thought tasted
like destiny'

Oh my dear poetess ... this one cried down the page~
So effectively ...~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*No matter what I search for ...
let me know when it is LOVE that I find*~ <))><

Email - noles1@totcon.com

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

3 posted 2005-12-20 05:36 PM

Make me believe Again
In something...
In me...
Make me believe
That I'm allowed
to have feelings
I can't tell you how many times I've asked this very thing.. why is it that we aren't allowed to feel sometimes? Why is crying such a crime? I don't know.. I do know, however, that I liked this poem.

*hugs*

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2005-12-20 05:51 PM

Hey Kris,

you do believe in you or you would not have been able to write this.

*smile*

But I do relate.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2005-12-20 07:01 PM

This aches, but in such a beautifully
written way.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

6 posted 2005-12-20 09:30 PM

I appreciate all the kind replies. Makes me not feel so alone when vulnerable.

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2005-12-20 09:57 PM

more hugs..life is crap, but it has its moments. youll find the right one k, sounds cliche i know but it happens

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

8 posted 2005-12-20 11:11 PM

Kris . . . you are not alone.

and I am so proud of you.

Jeep Monkey
Member

since 2005-12-18

Posts 96
Chaos

9 posted 2005-12-20 11:16 PM

So sad and yearning to be "all better". Genuine, heart-tugging write.

Peace

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

10 posted 2005-12-21 12:19 PM

Wow, I'm so glad I wandered in tonight.

This is one I think many of us will relate to. Awesome imagery. It all made sense.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Blessed Be.
Alicia

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

Calacon
New Member

since 2005-12-19

Posts 2

11 posted 2005-12-21 12:52 PM

i like how its deep and slow but it still flows

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

12 posted 2005-12-21 01:04 AM

Ohhhhhh kristen. This made me think back to horrible things. Hugs. You WILL be ok, one day.

'My strength is selective'

I dig that line in particular.

x

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

13 posted 2005-12-21 08:32 AM

Oh Kris, this one pours pain down the page,
but you are strong and it does get better.
Keep writing it out sweetie, and here's big hugs for you.

seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love. Axel Ekenstierna

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

14 posted 2005-12-21 11:16 AM

Hold on to that vulnerability...

it takes you places...

this, I know.

happy belated, little one...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

15 posted 2005-12-21 11:41 AM

Kris, you are a beautiful work in progress. This is a deeply moving piece of expressive, soul-searching writing.

You are never alone ~ for you have your glorious self with you always!

Wrapping my arms around you, my friend,
Linda

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

16 posted 2005-12-21 01:11 PM

I still never know what to say! Thank you all is about the most sincere I can get. We always seem to find our strength after a moment of weakness *hugs* to you all. Most appreciated as always. I am a firm believer in things will get better.

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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