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Open Poetry #36
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Last Call For An Autumn Leaf
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Last Call For An Autumn Leaf |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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The bar (go to the bar old girl) at least her elbow knows the way her body floats the floor of rust and greengold is the memory verdigris of summering - burnished brass--the color took-- thank the gods that veins are "in" thank goddess they can't see her ass quivering in too-thin skin as her August king salutes. He poured her shot of tanqueray-- watching sadly as she drank. Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change to make it happen or pretend that she be tender green again licking eagerly a-thrush the bottom of the glass. "Again?" Winter turned his back and then he turned the bright whites on... |
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| © Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i like it. moody but not forced. a diamond. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
“Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change to make it happen or pretend that she be tender” And then this....... “Winter turned his back and then he turned the bright whites on...” Way kewl, Lady K! .......*hugs*......jojo |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
If change could be undone, The leaves would have won. From brown and crinkled rustling To green and cheery bustling, Time rolls by in reverse. But time only flies one way, There's no back button, they say. So leaves wrinkle as sour words. Leaving a bad taste in the ear. And time wins in the end. Nicely written. Ken. PS, I've done a couple of leaf-related Autumn ditties, /pip/Forum91/HTML/001068.html /pip/Forum91/HTML/001068.html Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
"Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change to make it happen or pretend that she be tender green again" ~damn. just damn~ ~babygirL **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
"Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change to make it happen or pretend that she be tender green again" hell yeah. love you m'lady  me ~i want for myself your trembling~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...tender green again... ~*~ I'm thinking... yea... that's what I thought.   |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I vant to be leafed alone... Man, it's great to read your words again... |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
chuckling at Balladeer's comment Karen, I can't find the words so, |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
she can be anything she wants to be; it always was her call i hear you sister........ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and greengold is the memory verdigris of summering - burnished brass--the color took-- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Winter turned his back and then he turned the bright whites on... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I dont know which I love more ... the premise of this write..or the awesome imagery and insightful personification. you are poetica lovie.   Thru the water...thru the rain |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change to make it happen or pretend that she be tender green again licking eagerly a-thrush the bottom of the glass." Dang Karen!! This is excellent! Love ya lady~ Now - while the leaves still dance on the wind |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
 Thanks for reading. I got a little grumpy yesterday and said "okay, okay, I'll do the damned Autumn leaf poem--but I'll do it my way."  Somebody kick the jukebox already.  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Autumn is the color bruise digging through the past for change to make it happen or pretend that she be tender green again licking eagerly a-thrush the bottom of the glass. "Again?" Hard to just repeat what the others have said, but DAMN K. Fine writing. |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
I enjoyed this very much Karen. The imagery is outstanding. believe in what your heart feels... |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Yanno, I always read...but am very bi-polar with responding... This needs to go to the front as well... They need to see the beauty of you."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
susieC? Who are "they"? And are "they" talking bad about me? *shaking my head* It can't be any worse than the stuff I say to myself. Love you lady! thank youI did have fun with this one, but I love using personification. I almost have my husband completely animated now.  thank you, lovely |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
you, my dear, own a pen of gold.... amazing you...your words dance in my head like perfect visions, like the true grit of a new day...very large hearted. EXCEPTIONAL....as always, you are! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This is beautifully done. You hold your metaphor all the way through, and it works well. Excellent. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Always something I love.. I have no way to constructively critique you... I know less. |
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