Winter's chill - pipTalk Forums

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AutumnAire
New Member

since 2005-10-21

Posts 6

0 posted 2005-10-22 09:55 PM

Haiku is one of my favorite forms of poetry...so much can be said by so few words. This one may be a little dark, but most of us walk through a valley or two to reach the heights of the mountains.

                I feel winter's chill

                Hard eyes staring down at me

                My heart is crying.

JesusChristPose
Senior Member

since 2005-06-21

Posts 777
Pittsburgh, Pa

1 posted 2005-10-22 10:05 PM

I like the analogy of the "hard eyes."

Enjoyed!

Angelheart
Senior Member

since 2005-09-08

Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA

2 posted 2005-10-22 10:12 PM

so deep with emotion in this poem but good, thanks for sharing.

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

3 posted 2005-10-22 10:14 PM

the song no woman no cry came to me after i read your haiku .... so much with so little words
goodness!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2005-10-22 10:27 PM

The study of haiku and senryu can bring some amazing scenes to poetry.

Haiku is generally all about nature. Senryu can be more towards the personal aspect, including people.

I believe this would be termed a Senryu, and such so, that the hard eyes of winter's chill is indeed upon us.

Well done, Autumn.

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

5 posted 2005-10-23 12:25 PM

Winter's chill
Hard eyes staring—
My heart is crying

...................
good

John

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

6 posted 2005-10-25 09:04 AM

Hi, AutumnAire! Your name certainly is fitting for this time of year!

Welcome to piptalk ~ your new home-away-from-home! I enjoyed your poem and look forward to reading more of your work!

Warm, welcoming hug,
Earth Angel

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

7 posted 2005-10-25 09:33 AM

Agree with the Sunshiny One, this seems to be a Senryu and a very beautiful one.

Welcome to Pip!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

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