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Dark Night
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Dark Night |
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Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
Civilised we spoke dark tantrums in especial minds urging words to force as a dark tantrum to care less in a statement of 'I am above everything' eliting 'I can get away with it' No love nor control only exultation outdoing each drunken object in it's dreams In exaltation they marched To what hill or vale To what in this world mattered Like the hounds of stupidity unleashed they rampaged on ego as they delivered 20 not 80% in shards of billing friends for shareholders to pay Like hounds they live until their time and then fight For having been treated as Gods They still become uneasy In the shadow Of a forked stick |
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| © Copyright 2005 Dave Page - Cirencester UK - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Your "constructive critiques" message: quote: Oh, my friend! I would NEVER change a word. However, I would offer up the use of periods, commas, sometimes even exclamation points. I feel I DO know where you are writing from, but at times? My red pen wants to come and say, "but if here, you added this; and if there, that!" I am not well-educated... but that would be a humble poet's input.  Write on, my friend. |
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Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
Writing is an attempt to pass an idea to an unknown audience through unknown mechanism Subject of course To subjectivity Maybe I love the words too much to impose speed limits, construction and delays on thought and fingers May be I am wrong Thanks Sunshine Bodger |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
always interesting  My spirit will rise |
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