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Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

0 posted 2005-09-20 04:44 PM

Not through the door but under the floor
crawls the termite of hope’s family
a scout and a scavenger sent adrift
to gnaw at my only dream
and meet in the roof of my belief
with the ugly rodent of grief.

Sky vacillates, blue, black, or grey
and the shifting sand of this land
jiggles and wiggles undecided
like an all male hip-hop band
till love in a bag of skin and bone
grows to resemble a crone.

And the wind blows no breath of heart
to collapse a prisoner’s bars
fashioned according to history
and tended like antique cars
when rodents have eaten the roof
and a dream can’t offer up proof.

Termites and rats and life says, “That’s that”
but love in a storm withstands the fall
of dreams and belief and the rodent, grief
because it’s a tribute, a testament, wall,
built brick by brick with spiritual grace
behind the eyes on every face.

Blue eyes, brown eyes, tawny, green;
could there be something I haven’t seen?

Helen / 20 September 2005

Angelheart
Senior Member

since 2005-09-08

Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA

1 posted 2005-09-20 04:46 PM

this is very well writen.. thanks for sharing..

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

2 posted 2005-09-20 04:59 PM

Thanks for the read, Angelheart.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

3 posted 2005-09-20 05:27 PM

"but love in a storm withstands the fall"
~what a positive POV~

enjoyed this, Helen

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

4 posted 2005-09-21 12:03 PM

I saw the title, and knew I had to read this. I enjoyed it immensely. Hopefully, there is still much to see!

*Meredith

I'm not your type,
I'm not inflatable.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2005-09-21 12:07 PM

"ugly rodent of grief" -- what a great description, Helen! Hey, and....I think crone has taken a negative connotation in the 20th & 21st centuries....once upon a time, a crone was considered a wise woman, I think.....so I'm not going to worry about becoming one....hehehe. Great write.....*hugs*.....jo

Albert J. Allie
Senior Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 512
Queens NY

6 posted 2005-09-21 12:08 PM

WOW Awesome!! Love the 3rd stanza

AL

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-29

Posts 7115
South Africa

7 posted 2005-09-21 04:10 AM

Thank you Midnitesun, Meredith, Jo, and Al, and Jo - yes, a crone by your definition is indeed what we grow into if we don't run away like sheep from the shepherd of thought.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

8 posted 2005-09-21 11:25 AM

an excellent write...descriptive all the way through, certainly an attention holder, wanting more....especially this...

Termites and rats and life says, “That’s that”
but love in a storm withstands the fall

yeah, for sure

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