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Open Poetry #36
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Dog and Pony
| Open Poetry #36 |
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Dog and Pony |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa 
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lulled awake by the classics --that stroke of black and white rendering one side useless-- put ache to floor get ready for another greasy drone grind toothbrush to bone RINSE SMILE (Still Life With Unripe Persimmons) the morning wrings her hands I am the troubled child grown bland turning away from imploring cloudy sun my duty's shoulders shielding --I remember the moon duty free saturday's skin full of silver-- face the rain resigned supplicate to the random anxieties filling every pore it's amazing the way this thorn is ignored -- a barn of sharp tools trunks full of old skins QUICK scrape the vision away keep it moving through narrow optic sins (you can hang plants but the hooks will take anything) going now to face the door there are only two numbers on the combination lock one to go in none to turn black (widebrightblisseye) but NO dial it in roll it back wave the carrion-must away Sad Jack of 10 seasons wrack-bowed to make training wheels of my feet and Buster the eagerness of a womb's age being born in his tail -- gathering speed |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"put ache to floor get ready for another greasy drone grind toothbrush to bone RINSE SMILE (Still Life With Unripe Persimmons) the morning wrings her hands I am the troubled child grown bland turning away from imploring cloudy sun my duty's shoulders shielding" I could read this over and over for days and still feel like I'd barely broken through the first layers of meaning. Very good (and always a challenge) to read you again, Brian...  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
QUICK scrape the vision away keep it moving through narrow optic sins It's only rock and roll, but I like it!! Terrific writing, and so much to ponder. Thanks, brian sites~ |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
the morning wrings her hands I am the troubled child grown bland turning away from imploring cloudy sun my duty's shoulders shielding Fabulous imagery here Brian, it's great to read you again...thank you. Maree  ~i want for myself your trembling~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I love it when our fellows come home. Welcome back, Bri! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Oh my! It is going to be a beautiful day!! " it's amazing the way this thorn is ignored --" That line pierced me...so, so true... Makes you want to scream it, "People don't you see it?" I am so glad to see you posting! It's starting to feel like the pip I used to know! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
you have NO idea how good it is to see you. This wheeled me right back to my childhood and kind of like seeing the child and the boy and them together - as man - in present, existing. I miss you, Bri. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
the imagry attracks the senses, in this I see a courage, to reject fear and cut right to the chase...well done |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
As always. you pile it on the plate! Seems to be a lot to chew on here, Bro I'll see ya in a couple hours and you can cut it up into bite-size pieces for me *grin* |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Ed? Be sure to ask for the sauce on the side.  and mmmmmmmmmmmmmm stretch...inhale. and bri? you knew I'd love this: "RINSE SMILE (Still Life With Unripe Persimmons)" sorta like this? thank you bri  |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I feel like my plate is loaded here Bri, but in a good way. I will get a certain mango mama to splain some to me, but I loved the images in this, even if they are MY interpretation and probably not yours. Lots of layers in this. The sequence where you speak of the moon is absolutely AWESOME! Saved it as an exercise in "what is he saying anyway?" but loved the images. LOL, and I know someone who can help me at least figure out the parts I missed. SO good to see old names in here for a change. Thanks for the post! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
unripe persimmons staring back? LOL |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
"put ache to floor get ready for another greasy drone grind toothbrush to bone RINSE SMILE (Still Life With Unripe Persimmons" Hi Brian...It's really good to read you again. Don't be such a stranger, ok??  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and you-- this!!! a critical mass: " --that stroke of black and white rendering one side useless--" the words alone are illustrative enough to evoke my total envy, but you, my sculptor constructed the meaning, using the poetic form to convey your brilliant intent. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (you are brilliant, bri.) *kissyereyes* Some day, you will teach me how to BUILD poetry? amazing you... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I loved the still life with unripe persimmons reference. And the 'put ache to floor' ---you have the best images in this one. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
lulled awake by the classics --that stroke of black and white rendering one side useless-- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ the morning wrings her hands I am the troubled child grown bland turning away from imploring cloudy sun my duty's shoulders shielding --I remember the moon duty free saturday's skin full of silver-- face the rain resigned supplicate to the random anxieties filling every pore it's amazing the way this thorn is ignored -- a barn of sharp tools trunks full of old skins ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Bri...always a treat to walk in your poetic mind... so much to see here...love the imagery, personifications and symbols you use to create this unfolding of inner exploration... the morning wrings her hands I am the troubled child grown bland how very cool is that verse and personifi and then there is something you did in this that made me smile at how well and subtely you did it.... saturday's skin full of silver-- face the rain resigned supplicate to the random anxieties filling every pore it's amazing the way this thorn is ignored -- a barn of sharp tools trunks full of old skins hints of rhyme and sprinkles of alliterations created the delightful assonance of this write. way cool poet sir. I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I got it with a little help from my friend Awesome Bri, awesome! You met that challenge well. |
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