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Open Poetry #35
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illuminating Eve
| Open Poetry #35 |
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illuminating Eve |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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to never know the lime tree, or how the salt wind moves her leaves in briny afternoons, full of shadows and evening's greet i feel the cool beneath my feet try to accept what God gives a deafness in the ears I hear nothing and I yell like the sea, and sigh like the night with love under wing in a silent suffering.... to never know the lime tree or her branches in breeze beneath a sky shot with autumn illuminating Eve and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you ~Buckingham/Nicks [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (03-14-2005 04:52 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It has become such that you don't write often, but when you do write, you pack emotion. As it should be. You're growing, little one. Writing  s every time.Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? Keeping in mind, I must stand close...and keep my promises... |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
this is wonderful... Thanks |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wonderful poetry, so full of metaphor and hidden meaning Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
You had me at the lime tree... Elaborate imagery and an empassioned stoicism that are concordant with your iconic juxtaposed semblance. Vivid |
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TexUS Member
since 2003-03-20
Posts 228 |
Elegant, and powerful. GREAT write! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree Exceptional imagery and rhythm....much impact as all you do....  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and I yell like the sea, and sigh like the night with love under wing in a silent suffering.... to never know the lime tree or her branches in breeze beneath a sky shot with autumn illuminating Eve =================== yes....illuminating.... your poetry is indeed that...and so much more... lovely empassioned write poetess Maree.  one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
i hear nothing nothing and I yell like the sea, and sigh like the night with love under wing in a silent suffering.... You ROCK Maree, each write just gets better. I do so enjoy your poetry gal. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
applausing this |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
you fly.....................and those wonderful places where you go....... you'll never need to look back |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I like the way your cadence runs in this, very natural and flowing, while keeping to its basic structure throughout....well done! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"and I yell like the sea, and sigh like the night with love under wing in a silent suffering..." "under wing in a silent suffering..." "silent suffering..." need I say more?  perfect."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I have to wonder if you know just how incredible you are. I love you m'lady--you are grace.  |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Wow ... ummm...yep...Wow. hugs, Chris Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
WOW!! That's all that I can even conceive to say...WOW!! You are a master!! Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent. |
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
Maree, What a beautiful picture you have painted with your well-appointed words. You have always amazed me with your talent for poetry. You thoroughly engage me in all of your writes, as if I was there to see through your eyes the places you write of in all their salty oceanic splendor. I know I have used cinematic before to describe your incomparable imagery. It still fits. I am, again, in awe. Your words are true treasures. Thanks for sharing them. Kevo |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
tasting the breeze, the salt and lime and not even missing the tequila a cool and refreshing write, beautiful, absolutely beautiful |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you all so very much, you're way too kind with your replies. I appreciate you all love and hugs p.s Kacey? Tequila sounds good right about now. and m'lady? I love you too mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
There's something I was trying to explain just the other day that you embody in your solitary rhyme in this poem: quote:The control here, the extra stress on the final note of the word "suffering" gives it a relative significance and a really nice aural effect. The abandoned theme of this poem, the surprise "Eve" at the end of the poem (I had, at least, forgotten your title while reading it, until you had reminded me of it at the end), really helps to contextualize the lifeless, unresponsive nature scene you write. There's a kind of humanism, I think, in the way you say the life of paradise that has left fallen creation remains in the actions of humanity (you mimic the paradise scene by creating the sights and sounds in your speech and actions), though it is in a "silent suffering." I think this poem is most successful in its irony. You really ought to, I think, reconsider the give-away title, though. But, I'm not at liberty to say that, since your critique flag is not up. It's great to read you, Marie. There's a very refreshing subtlety in your writing that's rare (and difficult) in free verse poetry. It reminds me a lot of what Emily Dickinson might say if she didn't always write to the common rhyme. Loved reading this! Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Brian, wow.. you've blown me away.. thank you and i am sorry that my critique flag wasn't up, I don't know why it of down, but i've checked it now, I would've so much appreciated a critique by you. So if you see this, please i'd be honoured if you give me a critique. thank you Maree x "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Lovely... And it took Brian to explain to me, what it is about your writing that compels. Love this, Darksis |
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