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Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2005-02-15 09:05 AM



To Leave Without Saying Hello

Someone I should have known died today,
someone I should have loved
enough to meet at least,
should have visited when some trip
gave me the chance,
called on sometime Saturdays
to knot up our loose ends
while the rates were low.

Who, doesn’t matter:
call her an aunt if you need that,
but everyone’s related
and aunt or not, by marriage or not,
I should have been there.
It’s implicit, you know:
to be or not, a choice
but not an option.
By escaping, I did anything but.

I should have done this
and should have been that;
never did, never was.
Now, too late, this notice.

I’m not supposed to feel this,
not for a woman
I saw only one time
so long ago I can’t recall her face
without a long pause
or a look into some crack-bound album.
She was nothing to me.

Knowing her would only
have made it worse;
to begin foreshadows ending,
even to the young.
Time only adds
to the list of necessaries.

Better never to touch
than feel the withdraw,
or worse, have to earn it
with goodbye.
Now I know the grit
of false simplification,
a small shame I can’t mend.

I had no excuse
to abandon her so, let her die
without saying hello;
but she’s nothing to me, I feel nothing.
Nothing perhaps, but
a passing wish I were more,
or else less, of a man.


© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2005-02-15 09:19 AM


"I had no excuse
to abandon her so, let her die
without saying hello;
but she’s nothing to me, I feel nothing.
Nothing perhaps, but
a passing wish I were more,
or else less, of a man."

How many of us have done the same thing?
Avoided the hello so we didn't have to feel the pain of goodbye.
This is so brutally honest and well said.
A keeper worth reading again..
when I know I should go and say 'hello'..before 'goodbye'.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
an invincible summer.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2005-02-15 09:24 AM


pure and honest writing Ed.  hugs and smiles~
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2005-02-15 09:25 AM


This is incredibly beautiful... I think many of us know those missed opportunities... and you've written the regrets with heart-touching perfection.

but she’s nothing to me, I feel nothing.
Nothing perhaps, but
a passing wish I were more,
or else less, of a man.

If the measure of a man is his goodness and caring... you couldn't possibly be more, my friend. *S* And you wouldn't choose to be less... even to know less pain. *S*

Wonderful work!!!

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2005-02-15 11:01 AM


Ed

I have felt this way....very heart touching that you wrote it.  

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2005-02-15 11:12 AM


dang
vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2005-02-15 11:16 AM


liked it
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2005-02-15 11:22 AM


I had no excuse
to abandon her so, let her die
without saying hello;
but she’s nothing to me, I feel nothing.
Nothing perhaps, but
a passing wish I were more,
or else less, of a man.


Ed, I have also felt this way. You
certainly said it so well.
Hugs,
Ethel


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2005-02-15 12:40 PM


well done and elequently put...enjoyed serving of a most needed reminder
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
9 posted 2005-02-15 12:49 PM


Ouch...
but the fact that you even went in to this,
that you struggle to deny it,
means that you care.
It's more than I would have done...
But I'm going to try to take this lesson from you,
so I don't need to learn it so harshly for myself.

Amazing, amazing work.
And it's in my library.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
10 posted 2005-02-15 01:05 PM


Eddy darling man this is absolutely perfect, the flow, is exceptional, and oh the words themselves they catch at my soul and I feel then here within.

YOU are one of the few people I know who has a heart as wide as the ocean and the ability to feel deeply. So few men admit to feeling anything, or if they do, they pass it off as something to be ashamed of.  

Wonderful writing and I love it truly.
  
Love and warm stuff
as always
Mushy


Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
11 posted 2007-12-11 03:45 AM


I was just going through my library and read this again. I love it. Just wanted to say so.

~alyssa

Hupomeno.

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