This Vessel - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2005-03-04 05:45 AM

What words will attest
To emotions in my breast,
That which freely flung
And on my sleeve so was hung,
Then at what great cost
Did it fall and became lost,
And now it’s dying
As my soul crumbles in crying
And courage goes off flying.

What deeds can now mend
Feelings broke that I did send
Leaving just the pain
That fills me up once again;
Is this my calling
A sad vessel for filling
That just to open
For more your pain to go in;
Leave me to my night
Shelf me high and out of sight
Or bury me from the light.

Don’t take me back down
Or pull me from the cold ground
Just to torment me
With the hope of being free;
Don’t rip at my sleeve
Just to break and make me greave
I need no mending
For just another ending,
Let nothing to start
That will then be torn apart
With a changing of your heart.

Gloom

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

1 posted 2005-03-04 05:49 AM

ouch!

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

2 posted 2005-03-04 06:16 AM

Too much ''dying, crying, flying'' for me in the first section...not very believable after that...but a good attempt nonetheless....thank you....

Goldenrose.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2005-03-04 08:55 AM

Awesome....

Literary genus you are....

packed a whollop, and brought tears

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

4 posted 2005-03-04 11:15 AM

Thank you, MGROVES,
I take it I hit a nerve?
Perhaps the poem was worth the pain.

Thank you, Goldenrose,
For taking the time to read and comment.

Thank you, LeeJ,
For the kind praise
Pleased you enjoyed

Gloom

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2005-03-04 01:56 PM

oh my!

this is so sad.

which of course is what you were going for. Therefore, it is very well done, Mr. Gloomy.

loved it.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Zinsser
Senior Member

since 2001-02-27

Posts 1641
Calif.

6 posted 2005-03-06 10:36 AM

I need no mending for just another ending.....

How I feel this line today...Powerfull words you use this day..

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

7 posted 2005-03-08 07:29 AM

I could feel your pain in this one, great writing~

~ARh

We attract hearts by the qualities we display, we retain them by the qualities we possess.~Jean Baptiste Antoine Suard

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.