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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2005-06-25 12:14 PM



I was so young
living other lives
defining limitations
to be free,
wearing other costumes
shared at times
by all humanity.

In this life
when I
believed in you,
unexpectedly,
I felt the force
of life beside me,
even young,
even when I walked alone
onto the paths of harm.

Well,
I got old,
and I got tired
of keeping shadows
as my only company;
I let myself
believe
in costumes,
like the ones you wore in town,
when it was time
to put the money down,
like the collar and leash,
the counterpoint
of bondage freedom,
and now these stars
they still feel friendly,
though cold as angels
who can shatter galaxies
or pluck a single flower
without emotion
with equal calm,
but they
don’t really
follow me around;
there is no shelter
or heat
within their light.

So I’m alone
without their guidance,
and all the paths
of lies
feel the same as truth.

Yes,
alone
and I know surely
your promises
were always empty,
this I always understood,
but they sure did feel good,
so good to believe;
your loyalty
spun from sugar
was just like candy
to a child who’d forgotten
the taste of sweet.

Now that I am free,
free to wander,
all these paths
feel the same
to my feet.

Perhaps
there is a truth
somewhere
in that of which I am yet to be aware;
when I was young,
very young,
there must have been an innocence
that would help me understand
the counterpoint of emptiness
traced in lines
upon this spinning greasy ball
of water pocked with floating dust,
dirt lumps
teeming with life.

This planet is a warehouse
of biochemical experiments
conducted by a goddess gone mad
in her frustration and rage,
her laboratory
the playing fields of chaos theory,
and in our hubris
we constantly convince ourselves
we are the Mother’s greatest glory


I walk the city’s streets,
among strutting, shuffling ,talking
empty shells,
and find humanity
only in the naked pleading eyes
of homeless bums and crazies.  

The other night,
a streetwalker
offered to share with me
acts so intimate
as to bring the mind and soul
to the clinging edge of sanity,
to share,
of course at my expense,
whatever efforts I could choose
to seek cosmic enlightenment
or at least momentary relief,
yet her eyes as easily
could have been asking for a PB&J sandwich,
or to have my socks
to keep
if I was done wearing them;
I’ve seen those eyes
on priests
rabbis
monks
mullahs
waitresses
doctors
stock brokers,
other countless hordes,
and always,
always,
on politicians.

Why I said yes,
between lives,
to the real force of the universe,
when asked,
“What do you say, fool,
want another go?”
I will never,
never ever,
know.

Can you tell?  
The paradox,
of a planet truly so full of life
yet so empty,
of life as it could be conducted
as we could be connected,
is eating at me
like a thousand years
of acid rain.  

Anyone,
who lives long enough,
has had lovers who would swear
to love them forever,
of course
until they didn’t;
anyone,
who did not grow feral
has been fed pre-packaged beliefs
served to them by practicing
non-believers.

I wish I knew why
this time
I broke the string,
why this time
I don’t care if the bells ring;
I wish I could recall the innocence
of being willing to believe
in something,
in anything.


©2005 by icebox

© Copyright 2005 icebox - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-06-25 12:57 PM


"yet her eyes as easily
could have been asking for a PB&J sandwich,
or to have my socks
to keep
if I was done wearing them;
I’ve seen those eyes
on priests
rabbis
monks
mullahs
waitresses
doctors
stock brokers,
other countless hordes,
and always,
always,
on politicians."


and then...and then? THIS:

"Anyone,
who lives long enough,
has had lovers who would swear
to love them forever,
of course
until they didn’t;"



You're in my head again, c.

and nodding, I'm constantly confused whether I am betrayed by people (or deities), or by my own expectations...

sigh.

Let's just dance around the fire a bit.

I'd wear bells, of course.




Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

2 posted 2005-06-25 01:00 PM


As I feel myself dissolving in my own dispair . . .
Who says we die only once?
And in my hollowness is a din of cacophonous echoes.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2005-06-25 01:03 PM


IceBox~
You write from a heart that has known the joy of loving and the pain of losing that love~

'I know surely
your promises
were always empty,
this I always understood,
but they sure did feel good'


Oh ... that touches, tenderly and poignantly touches~

Here's to promises, full ... and more feel goods in your future~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
4 posted 2005-06-25 01:04 PM


This is art.  Pure and simple.  And incredibly deep and thought-provoking at the same time.  Goosebump material in its message, questioning, and revealing.  A mindful of observation, experience, and wisdom -- and I don't say these things lightly.  You have truly hit me with an incredible poem I hope many others will experience and contemplate.  Truly well done!

-MVS

You CAN make a difference, but first you should learn how: http://educate-yourself.org/intro.shtml

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2005-06-25 01:12 PM


icebox

You are so deep and complex.  

"the counterpoint
of bondage freedom,
and now these stars
they still feel friendly,
though cold as angels
who can shatter galaxies
or pluck a single flower
without emotion
with equal calm,"

I hope that you don't mind if I reply with words from a poem I wrote in July of 04.

I saw this from the swirl of thought beneath the sheets
where my wept and worried grief of living keeps

I was all wrapped up
in the color that crossed the room
when the drizzle of some madness took me
to see what dark of sky was for
around the bend of canopy candle lit still
like mosquito netting the smoke I blew
and unlit the thing that was weaving motion
and opened the door alive alight with focus
left for just this sweet of me all open can’t you  see
and some how for one moment     I was free
------
You are not alone out there in the night contemplating the meaning of life, my friend.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2005-06-25 01:43 PM


I was captured into this

and the ending...yeah, me too

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2005-06-25 04:28 PM


icebox
An excellent write of the old question "to be or not to be" And the answer is YOU ARE.

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
8 posted 2005-06-25 04:50 PM


icebox - Whew!  

"Can you tell?  
The paradox,
of a planet truly so full of life
yet so empty,
of life as it could be conducted
as we could be connected,
is eating at me
like a thousand years
of acid rain."

I know the feeling well but we never will know the whole story - well, not yet anyway.  There will come a time when the only thing to fall back on is just being happy to be alive.  That, of course, is why we say "yes" to another go - we thirst for life ... or, we are life and it's what we do - keep on living.  You make the reader think and I wonder, could you do that if you hadn't had the experiences that you have had.  This poem is amazing in its depth!  

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2005-06-25 09:35 PM


Oh Jesus, this is bloomin awesome



mxx

Oh, you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive
~Sarah McLachlan~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
10 posted 2005-06-25 10:05 PM


"This planet is a warehouse
of biochemical experiments
conducted by a goddess gone mad
in her frustration and rage,
her laboratory
the playing fields of chaos theory,
and in our hubris
we constantly convince ourselves
we are the Mother’s greatest glory"

Some theorize that there is a perfection achieved even in chaos.....just a thought....sure you've probably heard that before.  I can't help thinking, though, that it takes an act of love to return time after time...perhaps a love we don't fully comprehend yet but inately know.   Not saying it is pretty...but sure is powerful -- the kind of love that forces germination of the seed.//How many times I've had similar thoughts....guess that's why I love animals so much....they seem so to enjoy just being what they are to its fullest.  We humans seem to always be searching for what we really are.  Your poem really has me pondering, obviously....sorry for the runon here.   ....jo

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
11 posted 2005-06-27 10:36 AM


Thank you all for reading and for your insightful and thoughtful comments.  I very much appreciate you all.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
12 posted 2005-06-30 10:49 AM


"Anyone,
who lives long enough,
has had lovers who would swear
to love them forever,
of course
until they didn’t;
anyone,
who did not grow feral
has been fed pre-packaged beliefs
served to them by practicing
non-believers.

I wish I knew why
this time
I broke the string,
why this time
I don’t care if the bells ring;
I wish I could recall the innocence
of being willing to believe
in something,
in anything."

I wish you could tell me a bedtime story every night.  I imagine the truth of your stories would be relief from my waking hours.

  you rock me with your words.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
13 posted 2005-06-30 12:06 PM


Well, repeating everyone else...This is quite something. Covers all the bases, literally. Glad to have found this.
Sandra

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
14 posted 2005-06-30 01:39 PM


icebox... So many different parts of this captured my mind, I couldn't begin too pick out a favorite part. Most all people in this world are so set on just one thing, getting what they can to satisfy their own needs the innocent children and adults are molded like putty in their hands. Oh by the way I liked the poem very very much...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

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