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Open Poetry #35
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Ex. 20:5
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Ex. 20:5 |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
...visiting the iniquity of the fathers... Cracked and splintered porch, peeling paint and sagging roof; ...upon the children... sparrows and blue jays nest in the parlor where gray webs sheathe the walls. ...unto the third... My steps guided by memories of furrows, recollections of cotton, I follow my shadow across a fallow field, ...and fourth generation... abandoned to grass burrs and nascent mesquite, prickly pear and catclaw. ...of them that hate me. Grandpa was a righteous man. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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| © Copyright 2005 Nancy Wilcox - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah.. now this..has become my favorite from you..I like thelayered and interlaced from.. as well as how the reader can indeed take form this many things... |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa |
The imagery was exceptional! Enjoyed! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
a good read much enjoyed |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Thank you all. I didn't know if I'd get a response from this one or not. I posted it elsewhere and it was largely ignored. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I have to tellya, this was an outstanding piece of writing! I am so glad that I didn't miss out on reading ~ and experiencing ~ your words. "I follow my shadow across a fallow field," ~ a very moving and telling line... With an economy of words you brought your readers through four generations and ended your poem with that humdinger of a closing line: "Grandpa was a righteous man." Love & Light, Linda  |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
WOW!!!A poem filled with the shadows of the past to look back on what was...What a powerful poem this is....The finale line brings it all into perfect focus...Magnificent...*big hugs* |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Thanks so much, guys. I do appreciate it. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Brava, Nan! Something that's crossed my mind alot lately, actually...the ancestral heritage. ....jo |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
They're all right. This was excellent in every way. Very impactful. Congrats.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I read this once before, I didn't really understand it, but it felt like an old story, handed down...and without knowing exactly what it was about, I liked this a lot. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Nan darling one OH MY this is exquisite, how delightful to see your words again. Actually its not that I see them I feel them, here in the depths of my being, truly one of those I shall treasure from your ever brilliant pen. Miss me did you darling one? No I suppose not, but I certainly missed you, and your divine words of pure poetic wisdom I'll be back soon, I hope, to see some more YOUR writing is always worth making an effort for as always Mushy xx xx xx Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ This is my fourth reading of this piece~ Each time ... a memory was touched of someone, sometime ... bring to mind some important message that I remembered from lessons at my grandfather's knee~ (You have gone forth and multiplied) This is you at your finest, poetess~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Once again PIP comes through. You guys are so encouraging. As I said this was ignored at the other site. I so appreciate you all. (and Marsha, yes I've missed you girl) Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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