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Open Poetry #35
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| Open Poetry #35 |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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Barren love, I wrote down our sane words so that I could remember, for time has erased them. We closed our eyes long before we could witness the phenomenon, though I knew it was there.. The reason why we are still grieving... oh, how I crave my lost body, my soul trapped in desire, you've taken it all... my skin is deteriorating, missing a melting touch screaming for there is an overwhelming need to be whole. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sighing "Barren love, I wrote down our sane words" that opening just slew me if poetry were poker I'd have folded on the spot. There was nothing wrong with the middle stanza, and I although I didn't "hit on it" I thought it bridged appropriately to this: "oh, how I crave my lost body, my soul trapped in desire, you've taken it all... my skin is deteriorating, missing a melting touch screaming for there is an overwhelming need to be whole." Death and regeneration, isn't that our constant? inhale -- exhale....aleph/bayt. Life and death. I love how you so succintly capture complexities and leave the threading to the loom (your readers)  y'gotta a fan in me.  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I do love your writing |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Wonderful writing Kaoru - You have such a way with words, and I love reading of you Tima P.S. - how's that baby? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
and the essential need of every soul - to be loved . . .  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Deterioration will to me always be an unexplained mystery. You lady, can sure write out a heart. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
excellent!! yep...you have a following...  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Barren love, I wrote down our sane words so that I could remember, for time has erased them. We closed our eyes long before we could witness the phenomenon, though I knew it was there.. The reason why we are still grieving... ~~~~~~~~~~~ my skin is deteriorating, missing a melting touch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ amazing expression here....bleeding and angsty... and Im with Karen...that first verse is poetic gold. Dont give up on me ... I'm about to come alive ... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Barren love, I wrote down our sane words so that I could remember, for time has erased them. oh, how I crave my lost body, my soul trapped in desire, you've taken it all... my skin is deteriorating, missing a melting touch screaming for there is an overwhelming need to be whole. jesus...amazing K, this rocks you rock. into my library you go  mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
I like your style alot. -Juju Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this, reminds me of a soul that has lost daylight, during a very painful hour...and yet...there is a hint of realistic desire here, not setting hope on a pedistal, but more so, realizing, the end of some thing, and not knowing what to do...other then to let things be..... as always, terrific read |
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