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WindWalker
Senior Member

since 2001-10-12

Posts 1218

0 posted 2005-05-30 01:15 AM

A mountain stream cascades
through brambles and over stones:
I hear the water as I sit
in silent contemplation.

I came to these mountains
to clear my head and my heart
of recurring bouts of heaviness,
hoping I’d find forgiveness
for I don’t know what,
or at least, some understanding.

We all have hidden things
filling the pockets of our lives,
weighing us down more and more –
things we are ashamed of;
memories we wish to forget;
experiences we could have done without.

That is what brought me to this stream,
because I know if I do not release these
they will continue to haunt me
out there, in man’s cities
and the pollution within
will be worse than that without.

By the sound of the waters
I find myself saying:
I will not be a slave to my past;
I will let it go into the starry night.
I will take on my problems
as tasks to be performed,
which I must complete
that I may move on,
emptying my pockets
and walking lightly once more
by the stream of life.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2005-05-30 09:17 AM

Could feel the breezes blowing gently across this treasure.
Yes! One of your best writes so far, among several.
TD

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2005-05-30 01:50 PM

I go to the river too, for many of the same reasons. Enjoyed this!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2005-05-30 06:33 PM

good thoughts, good write
much enjoyed

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2005-05-31 10:18 AM

"We all have hidden things
filling the pockets of our lives,
weighing us down more and more –
things we are ashamed of;
memories we wish to forget;
experiences we could have done without."

Very well put.

I really enjoy reading your thoughts.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Canuckster
Member

since 2002-01-09

Posts 285
New Mexico, USA

5 posted 2005-06-01 12:40 PM

A beautiful poem.

Only thing I would suggest constructively is that your metaphore is constructed strongly enough without having to speak it at the end.

You are a fine writer.

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

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