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Open Poetry #35
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kaile
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2005-05-06 02:32 PM


after I declined his offer
of whisky for the umpteenth time,
two sincere souls fell into oblivion,
not quite knowing how to connect

we seemed to gaze at
the nonchalant smoke
of his cigarette
trailing off
into the pitch-dark night

does his culture believe
in companionable silence?

the fireflies shone extra hard,
as if challenging me
to decipher their answer



© Copyright 2005 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2005-05-06 07:17 PM


I've had a few nights like this


JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2005-05-07 12:07 PM


Enjoyed...James
Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2005-05-07 12:20 PM


even when you see them from a different perspective, those fireflies light up with the same message

namaste

how are you these days my friend?

Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

4 posted 2005-05-07 12:31 PM


I love this!
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
5 posted 2005-05-07 12:58 PM


Well done...you take your reader with you to ask the same questions...A wonderful poem...I really enjoyed it...

Mon Cherie
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since 2001-10-31
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Land of Never-ending Summers
6 posted 2005-06-01 12:44 PM


Wow! This is really interesting!! I would have taken the whisky if I were you. Juz can't stand those prolonged moments of silence... And thank goodness for those fireflies, else there'd really be nothing entertaining to do huh?

But I'm a little uncomfortable with your use of the word "oblivion". It means a "state of being disregarded or forgotten". Do you think it's possible to be forgotten in that moment of time? I would think the silence that stretch between you will make it more obvious, that you're probably searching for a topic?? :P

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
7 posted 2005-06-01 08:41 AM


"companionable silence" ~ at times, there truly are no need for words.

You vividly painted that moment in time.

Good to read your thoughts again, Kaile!

Sending you a big, warm hug,
Linda

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