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LngJhnAg
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since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2005-05-21 08:19 AM


I am a shadow on the wall,
Nothing more dense than that.
I’ve lost my way to somewhere
And I don’t know where I’m at.

Each person I meet is a stranger,
Though they appear to know me well.
I remember myself as a child,
But the rest I couldn’t tell.

A young woman came to visit me,
She claimed my name is Dad.
I don’t recall ever meeting her,
But when I smiled it made her glad.

And so I pretended to know her
I hugged her when she said, “Good bye.”
But now that memory is fading, too,
A fleeting moment on the fly.

I’m lost wherever I find myself
I’ve no memory to lead me home
And like a shadow on the wall,
I need someone else to lead me on.

My life exists in the present
The past and future are unclear
I am a shadow on the wall
I’ll soon forget that I’ve been here.

A shadow on the wall,
Denotes a person passing by.
It has become all I am now,
And all I seem to signify.


I wrote this poem in a poor effort to capture the desperate nature of Alzheimer's, and how it robs a person of all he or she was, is, or will become, leaving behind only the will to live.

© Copyright 2005 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2005-05-21 08:28 AM


I think you've captured the essence of being caught within one's fading memories quite beautifully, Mike.  It's wonderful to see your work posted - and makes me think about searching out my own muse...

Hugs to you both...

Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-05-21 08:43 AM


Of all of the diseases and medical conditions that can end a part of one's life, this is the one that I fear the most...not only forgetting who loves me, but who I love, as well.

LJA...it is so danged good to see you home again...

I'm glad you didn't forget your way.

Did I mention, you nailed this one perfectly?


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2005-05-21 09:07 AM


LngJhnAg,
I know the feeling. Nice to see back.

Youngatheart
Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333

4 posted 2005-05-21 10:04 AM


I loved this, Mike. I am experiencing this with my mother and you beautifully put to words how she must be feeling. As always, I enjoy reading your work. You are very talented in many ways.
the kid

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2005-05-21 10:07 AM


LngJhnAg, Welcome back. ( LBJ Lady Bird Johnson )I so remember my chagrin at that goof! You are still one I remember so well.You put this "lost feeling" down so real.  Best to you, marty.


Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
6 posted 2005-05-21 10:15 AM


I seem to recall a sailor named Popeye....Barnacle Bill....Captain Hook....but a Longjohn?.....hmmm....let me ponder awhile..........Susan?.....Sheep....?
Oh yea.....Homeward....that guy...yea....I know you.....and have missed you..and, you've come back strong too bud....

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2005-05-21 04:01 PM


Mike, this touches deep

well done

good to see you here again

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
8 posted 2005-05-23 05:10 PM


This is so sad. I worked with the alzhiemers for about a year and a half. It is a sad thing to see. I have worked with a couple in home health, which is where I am working, now. It is so sad for me to see them slowly get worse. It is also very frustrating for them sometimes, too.


Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
9 posted 2005-05-23 05:27 PM


Yes I have seen dear ones sink into this oblivion.  Well done.  Joyce
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2005-05-24 10:17 AM


This one touches more deeply than you can know... excellent work, sailor man.
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2005-05-24 11:51 AM


this is so well done, my mother in law has alzheimer's and dimentia......and yes it is as heartbreaking as this write
Marge Tindal
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Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2005-05-24 01:21 PM


LongJohn~

No fluff ... no guff ...
just the plain truth, can't be told enough~

'I’m lost wherever I find myself'

The entire write is poignantly done~
I've seen those 'shadows' ... and you've written behind-their-eyes~



Nice to see you ... hope all is well~
My regards to Lorelei too~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
13 posted 2005-05-24 01:26 PM


Trying my best to remember who you are...hmmmm, LonhJohn, LongJohn...I knew a longJohn once but this is a great poem so you can't be him....I'll keep searching the old memory banks
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
14 posted 2005-05-24 03:23 PM


I didn't need your explanation-I saw the Alzheimer's clearly in this.  A shadow on the wall, no substance because without our memories, what are we?  This is well-written, well-imagined.  And frightening.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
15 posted 2005-05-24 09:27 PM


LngJohn,

It's been a long time since I've read your words. This is a wonderful write, old friend, and brave, too, to delve into such a darkened place.


Corinne

Canuckster
Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285
New Mexico, USA
16 posted 2005-05-24 11:31 PM


"I'm lost whereever I find myself"

That captures it perfectly.

Well done.

never try to teach a pig to sing
it wastes your time AND annoys the pig

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
17 posted 2005-05-26 07:40 PM


Thank all of you for your kind words.  This topic has been on my mind a long time, as Nan can testify.  I didn't do it justice; the lines are too short, the hopelessness is lost on the brevity of the message.  I can think of no other demise that is as tragic or as demeaning as losing oneself a day at a time until there is no self.  I don't know which is worse, standing on the outside trying to break in, or being on the inside not knowing there is an out.
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