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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #35 |
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Message In A Bottle |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Message In A Bottle I could see a yellow curl of paper through the salt cloudy glass, so fragile, the sun-crackled edge ready to break at a touch. Turning in the waves, the bottle showed a ring of green-brown algae; sitting here now I see it, the bare neck held high, as if it still feared drowning. There was something like a barnacle, and the blackened cork. That was all. Close enough to take without swimming, it held off just beyond the shore break, with something written God knows where and cast from some other shore to me. Was it a picnic lark or desperation that did this? I thought I knew, could almost feel the reach of someone cast up on their own soul’s bare island with no thought of rescue, yet driven to write something, anything, and trust luck and tide to show they’d lived at all. It’s not so rare, that situation; I’m doing something like it at this moment. Suddenly it felt important; how could I not chance the finding, fail to capture it and miss paying a penny of my life debt by setting free such words? This is how: the currents here run strong and the rocks – even as I hesitated, a riptide began to pull it out to sea again, soon lost from sight in the glare, gone. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Nicely done Ed, and with the tide went the knowledge of the message in the bottle. Very well done, much enjoyed. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I have missed so many poems by not being ready when they came, or by not being brave enough to try the writing. That's why I carry a writing pad everywhere I go now. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I used to feel the same way, but now realize, maybe all thoughts are not meant to be written down, but to be savored by the thinkee (is that a word)? Anyway, this was brilliant...the imagry was akin to someone I've known....and the movie, your title, was a very cherished share, by him and me...once...that's what drew me in, and made me feel....this one of yours...marvelous topography sir....well done. hugs and thank you for the warm zemblances Lee J. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed A memory of a bottle brought back...thank you! I closed my eyes and listened to the sand shifting and the sweet chime of my bottle where a story grew, and the radiant colored dream burst and fell around me like brown wings and for some reason I felt so sad.  |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
I am so glad you didn't miss out on opening the bottle of this poem...I love the feel of it and the vision it unravels...I am one who has not put pen to poem much lately and think that maybe I need to open a drifting bottle of my own...*hugs* |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
could almost feel the reach of someone cast up on their soul’s bare island with no thought of rescue, yet driven to write something, anything, and trust luck and tide to show they’d lived at all. It’s not so rare, that situation; I’m doing something like it at this moment. And I thank every power there may be that you do. *S* This is stunning, my friend... your images are so vivid... and it's not tide pull I feel on my heart... it's the power of your words. *S* Absolute excellence... my pen would be proud to own any line of this. |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
Thank you, i really enjoyed reading this. It produced such a vivid image in my mind of everything and also gave me some thoughts on things related to myself as well. " How can i feel if i can't breathe...?" |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent excellent write Ed! So very much enjoy your words. Hugs~Nancy Life is one great big canvas; |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Ed, You had me swimming in the rip tide before the second verse...and when I saw the final gulp disappear, I felt the loss. Wonderful write. TD |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I thought I knew, could almost feel the reach of someone cast up on their own soul’s bare island with no thought of rescue, yet driven to write something, anything, and trust luck and tide to show they’d lived at all. Your writing is full of promise, and every last word makes me believe in the reason behind them. Love this, Ed.... just so you know~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I read this twice, yesterday, and was upset because, first, IWIHWT... and secondly, I didn't have a twit of an idea to write something as nice... until, of course, a gentle spirit sat on my head until I came up with something! Thanks, Ed... you push well, yourself... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Ed, You know I love this already so excuse me for jumping in here but Kari? Sat on your head??? lol... maybe threw an idea or two at it, but sat on it...  I really want to care, I want to feel something, let me dig a little deeper nah, still nothing~ my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee |
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