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Open Poetry #35
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Private Ballare - The Dance of Lovers
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Private Ballare - The Dance of Lovers |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough 
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Cantos I 1 I have witnessed the ballare- in the twilight hours, amid the heat of your body and the surrender of your restraint- yes, this my love - I can testify as such, Just as sure as the clock hands move Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock 2 I have occupied this space next to you, next to me for a long time now - never tiring of the soft touches, or whispered words You have filled me with a longing - that time could never take a way And, all roads lead to home 3 Home is here, under the stars, or clouds when weather is my least concern for wherever you are is right where I want to be - even when we're angry, that goodnight kiss always comes - we made that promise A long, long time ago Cantos II 1 There have been times during the ballare when I, in my moment of fear and release have closed my eyes - wanting to do nothing more than free fall and you have convinced me to watch as if I were outside my body - When the performers took stage to bow 2 Luciano playing softly in the background your fingers drumming the tune - and I, humming the words out of time you would laugh because I would pretend that I knew the song by heart It never mattered though - We each understood what the other one meant Cantos III 1 In your quest to find comfort you ask that I roll to my side so that our bodies can mold like two spoons - leaving no room for air, and there right hand coupling right breast and the feel of hot whispered plays on my ear Once again, we find reason to celebrate 2 This place, right here among each other over the years, this has become our sanctuary, and our 'place of home' - this is where we celebrate one another in a ritualistic pattern, our souls twine together until we are no longer two seperates - But one whole, creating a stop in time Cantos IV 1 Is it here among each other, interlaced that I never question your intentions I know exactly where each touch or breath will lead you soothe the restless woman inside me - a tear is released, snaking path down cheek once again, your gentle hands, Catch me when I fall - and just in time 2 Here among the satin sheets and cool breeze you feed my hungry appetite for companionship you know I hold a reputation for running - so you clasp hands tight with mine, and talk me into holding on - if only breifly you won't let go Until you are sure that I too, am ready Cantos V 1 At some point, the birds landed on the sill admiring the naturistic ways our bodies meld it's a language of few words - spoken through movement between us I admire the line of you, and glistening skin your breathing a little steadier now - you prop your body on elbow and whisper, "Cara mia, ti voglio bene." 2 Feathers ruffle on the perch exhaled breath fogs the window slant - the time spent traveling toward now is worth the past and regretted yesterdays just this single, solitary moment when finally the ballere is finished - And the journey complete, as are we I may hate myself in the morning - but I'm gonna love you tonight -Lee Ann Womack |
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| © Copyright 2005 Tima Chavis Cooke - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
whoa! This is AWESOME!!!! "Is it here among each other, interlaced that I never question your intentions I know exactly where each touch or breath will lead you soothe the restless woman inside me - a tear is released, snaking path down cheek once again, your gentle hands, Catch me when I fall - and just in time" especially loved this part  wow what a keeper! |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
OMG!!! This was spectacular...fantabulous...I'm going back for another read....marvelous writing incredible imagry...your muse is so gifted |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Substantially romantic...and a pleasure to read...James |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You made me wish that I could dance, but then, fat women just look like drag queens wearing tu-tus'. smile?  Seriously, tima, this is beautiful and oh I envy the inspiration.  |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Thank you all for the kind replies. It took me forever to get this one done, because it was something that I really wanted to 'feel' right when I finished it. Your sweet replies make me feel so good, and I am glad that I stuck with it and finished it off. )))hugs((( Tima |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Wow! A poem in cantos! Where did you get that idea?  Love the first canto. This paradox is neatly mixed with its context: quote:...so much that I almost missed it. I love the ending line of the first canto especially, because it trails away from the subject and makes a very nice point of division. Canto II, which focuses more on the performance metaphor (much to my liking), thus comes about very smoothly for being separated. Most of the time, when a poem this short is divided into such small sections, the impact on flow is disastrous---but you made the transition between these cantos very clear. Canto III is spectacular. It is extremely difficult to represent physical love in a tasteful manner, but you have done so very effectively. It makes me think of the Victorians, who had discovered the height of taste in their discreet metaphor and ability to use familiarity, rather than frankness. I think this is my favourite canto in the poem for that reason. These lines from Canto IV win me again: quote:Just beautiful. You sing of your experiences but never lose sight of your metaphor. You have a real knack for subtlety, you know, and I honestly think a lot of poets here could learn from it. The whole poem is a "ballet" of course, but you don't come out and say it... you just use description to create a fluid dance between yourself and your dance partner. It's very impressive. I don't think I fully understand the introduction of the birds towards the end, but it was a neat element for the sake of imagery, that someone would be drawn to your dance and want to watch it. Whether you meant to say simply that even the birds admire your freedom, or intended a Biblical reference to the dove descending onto Christ and giving an observance of holiness (relating to your marriage), I think the vagueness adds a lot either way... This is a wonderful poem, Tima, and it's going in my personal library. It's the most impressive poem I've read of yours so far. Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
LP your words mean so much to me, as I have always felt that myself as well as others could learn a great deal from what you know, and the way that you write. I do intend on doing this again, and maybe after I catch up on my reading I will go back into this one, and add to a few places. And then? Maybe not, maybe I will just write a brand new one, on another subject ofcourse. Once again, Thank you so much for your replies and praise. And as far as the birds, I think that part came to me because of the "naturalistic", and I was trying to convey that as birds being a part of nature, only they can understand the ceremony between such lovers. However, I did like your interpretation about the holiness of marriage, and the birds representing that factor. It's always wonderful to hear your take on a peice of writing because, you don't just read it. You take it in, and look for the entire picture that the words have painted. Ok, now... off to start on that list that you have made for me... lol Thanks again everyone !! Tima I may hate myself in the morning - but I'm gonna love you tonight -Lee Ann Womack |
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