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Open Poetry #35
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ashes...in the morn
| Open Poetry #35 |
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ashes...in the morn |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"Words I wished he'd said--part I" "For being there when I was not, for saying I was not all bad, for being with me anyway giving what I'd never had for understanding clumsiness of all of my emotions clutzed for saying that it is okay when I know that it was wrong to even ask if it's alright for listening to off-key songs on those karoake nights and cakes and omelets and roasts and those little tin foil boats you used to make just for the kids so that they'd sit long enough in the tub and how'd you sing so they never noticed that sometimes scrubbing clean can sting-- for hours of the Disney dreams Beauty and the Beast and green clover on the floor each year every Easter and the clear lights you placed upon the tree saying it's enough to see the colors of reflection there-- as the bulbs would turn because you bought the hangers that I'd said were much too much expensive but you were right, they hung in air like magick dripping crystaline and then the baths for me prepared with petals of the rose and salt and musk with minerals you gave my back a fine rub and forgave the fact that I did not return not a single favored lave-- how you gave my Daddy grave when I was--well, when I could not. I'll bet you think that I forgot how you look naked on the bed brushing out my fingerknots and all the things I wish I'd said but you looked so beautiful I thought my voice would ruin it So I never said a word but watched you brushing out your hair smiling when you caught my stare-- I really thought you understood that I was counting lucky stars I wish that I had said all this instead of leaving all the scars that haunt so much that you'd write this--" * * * Words I wrote because it hurts--Part II Words that you would like to hear or wordlessness within a kiss or something very near to it that would fill your emptiness. "Happy Mother's Day, My Wife" Words I write to self tonight knowing that tomorrow brings another day of nothingness and all the lies I told myself are just another sucker punch leaving bruises no one sees and nothing makes this ever right... Remember that you chose and don't - I place my fingers on your lips - make excuses for your choice when every single day is this. * * * Words because there's not enough--Part III Today, yanno, it's mother's day. I am blessed to have one still. So I'll bring a glass posie-- because my father always did cut flowers watered with his sweat and though I know I can't compete my mother's going to feel some pain for all those places of absence, amputeed--and rivers etched underneath her eyes in stain of all the tears my mother wept but I'll be damned if I'll refrain from love because it hurts. If there's nothing else I learn from you - it will be that. So have a nice day at the game. Ignorance it must be bliss 'cause you look pretty happy but You never really had much sense. You should have written this... but then? You know how much I hate pretense, So the fact that you did not makes you just more honest than my simple needs dictate today. Now demands a fire and I have things that yearn to be ashes in the morn you'll see some day you'll wake and feel it too and "sorry" well it just don't do standing at the grave alone knowing that they close at dusk and that is when you'll feel the need as lonely gains important lust fingering the stone the name a family that I gave you once autographed in slate. Happy Mother's Day. |
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| © Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Oh my goodness, Karen....so much in this that I can relate to. And, "he" will never say it, because he's dead. and even if he wasn't....he is long dead to me and my heart. You are so real, SereneOne. And, Karen, Happy Mother's Day, Sweetie. Hugs,  Ethel |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
happy mothers day~ i understand this one~ was there too long with same~ My spirit will rise |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
You amaze me, you know that? Seriously, you do. Any one of these could stand perfectly fine alone. But together they pack a powerful punch. And, you know me, its that last one that brings it home. Well I'm not much into believing in happy days, I will say that I hope the day goes okay. I hope you can be surprised by how well it goes. And if not? Well, we're still here... Always, Alyssa He was a man of sorrows ...I am a girl of tears. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
just and for knowing... although I am no one's Mother ( as I told one of the 1rst graders the other week when they asked whose mother I was  ( seems sometimes when needed they use Mothers for subs even if not degreed) |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
I wonder how many do offer Happy Mother's Day because "it is something one does" rather than that the wish is truly felt. Great writing. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Sis, this here is angst mixed with bittersweet absinthe. Have another drink on me. *chuckle* Seriously, sis, this kicks bootay! |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Serinity, Again you just amaze me. Not much I know how to say except,I am still and I guess will always be in awe of your talent to express yourself the way others just wish they could. Thank you for sharing. martyjo |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You truly do amaze me but I suppose that won't help today, some c'mere will ya?  The last stanza Karen, I hate to say is about all the justice one gets in all this. Go buy something (works for me.) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
sniffing here, can't even write a decent reply this morning, but want you to know, I am hugging your muse |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Dayum... that was AWESOME my sister.... I am speechless here, which should say everything as I am southern and always have SOMETHING to say !! You are beautiful and this write just prooves that !!  One is not born a woman, one becomes one. |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Had to read it one more time. I may hate myself in the morning - but I'm gonna love you tonight |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, Your point has caught the wind and touched me.  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"some day you'll wake and feel it too and "sorry" well it just don't do" Your ability to let us view the wounds is astonishing... Sometimes acceptance of what will never be is sweet relief. love you lady. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I've been over this several times... you write heart, dear... quote: Love, the other K |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
""Happy Mother's Day, My Wife" Words I write to self tonight knowing that tomorrow brings another day of nothingness and all the lies I told myself are just another sucker punch leaving bruises no one sees and nothing makes this ever right..." ______________________ Feeling the 'punch' of this, Karen... and just hugging you... I love you... |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Very beautifully written.smiles and hugs adagio |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
Just came back to add to the library !! I may hate myself in the morning - but I'm gonna love you tonight |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
just know I'm huggin you.... |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
somehow I just don't think being a great writer is much of a consolation prize. but, urock...urock... urock |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I read this back when first posted and have read it several times since...it has stayed with me...haunting and impressing...whcih speaks to the power of your writing... So many lines in this struck....some like a kick in the chest...some like a train... but this line..... this line shines with a thousand points of light... but I'll be damned if I'll refrain from love because it hurts. moth anthem baby.... and? Rebs right... you rock.  |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
but you looked so beautiful I thought my voice would ruin it So I never said a word yeah babe, know this feeling well...it's a peace beyond words...like an out of body experience.... damn girl, doesn't get any better then this, just when I think you've gone and topped the last poem you wrote, you write another that defys gravity....this was amazingly bittersweet...full of all emotions...which IS love...this would touch the hearts of skeptics... Hugs |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
I envy your ability to 'feel' to such depth that your poetry bring the reader into the pain with you.....but I do not envy your pain...you have much to bear lady....sigh I have chosen numb over pain, but novacain does not write good poetry....sometimes I think it is not a great swap...... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
well, all in all, the day pretty much sucked. Except the part I spent with my mom. THAT was really nice.  and thank you for reading. And smile, This time? Local Rebel gets a kiss. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
but I'll be damned if I'll refrain from love because it hurts. I took a deep breath before starting this... for the title told me to expect power... and you didn't disappoint... That breath was much needed for no more were taken for a while. Painful... powerful... penetrating... No one can read this without feeling... no one can feel without being drawn back to the read. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
as suthern said, one feels drawn to come back to read this.... it touches, deeply Karen. I really want to care, |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
That was well done. It was very well done. -JUju |
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