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Open Poetry #35
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Indelible mitten
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Indelible mitten |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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I hear she’s moving She’s already moved up, some And moved on, a bit more And now, I hear she’s moving out Away from that little apartment on the South side A space so small She couldn’t help, but find herself there A place for her to “become” not unlike a cocoon A place, where once, a young man “A boy who would be king” Chiseled away my likeness from the statuary there And attempted his temple from the stones of my tomb Though, I can’t say I blame him, she is a singular woman And I was Already dead, after all Just unaware of my demise and still slightly warm And now she is moving away from that kitchen window Where she would stand with her tea And gaze outside at the world unfolding before her Beckoning her out, urging her on Past the parking lot where, one winter, her young son Would bend, and draw with a small hot mitten A picture of the three of us standing together Burned through the snow, the asphalt and down To the core of the world, where even now If you were to look closely, you’d see our portrait Etched into bedrock, rendered in stick figures |
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| © Copyright 2005 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
I feel a vision of loss in these words that touch the heart...as a heart moves on... |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
No matter where my body lie or my soul escapes to, that etching, eternal is a portrait inked upon my heart as your soul has always been entwined with my very own. There has never been one moment when you were lost from my heart, nor a time when the caverns of your gaze have ever disappeared from my sight. I can still see them now. My hand, raises slightly as I close my eyes to touch your face and there you are in front of me. I talk to you, did you know this? Because it does not matter where one goes or how far or whom with. It is I, woman who was created with you and you, man who rediscovered himself by my side. There will always be a window and I shall always gaze from it for you. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Geez, I just "put on my eyes" too. OMG, this was just too touching for words. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
And I was Already dead, after all Just unaware of my demise and still slightly warm those lines..ugh |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow wranx... awesome! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
"It is I, woman who was created with you and you, man who rediscovered himself by my side. There will always be a window and I shall always gaze from it for you." *smiling* |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Love simply is, Ed, and it is always....as you know. The beautiful indelible instants, the impromptu bits of time and caring, whether worshiping as if she were temple or hiding behind the open door you've opened for her to come in.....they are love, and they are always. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
or love is like instances of the flavourful amid the mundane... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This is deeply moving and touching Ed. Very well written sir.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now... now I have to go find some tissues... there are some loves that are just meant... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Some loves.. most loves.. transcend time and space. Well done ..very well done! Life is one great big canvas; |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I think, when two are in such love as this...and it does take the two, with the same feelings for each other, that this love is the almight stamp...given in proof of what the world could be...it is endless, infinant, driven into spirit wings...which take us beyond...even when we depart and step over into another dimension...that love is the miracle of life...just as is birth... Wonderful poem and adored the reply... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Amazing!!!  |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
DANG !! Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
When there's love enough, it trancends time... and place... and is forever... everywhere. This is incredible... goes straight to the heart! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Look at me, yeti? (Holding your chin in my hands, looking at you sternly) Do you know that you are beautiful? (I wish you knew how hard my fingers hit the keys typing that--as if, if I typed it harder, you'd believe it.) You are always at your best writing of wimmen. *shaking my head* And if should you live to be 150 years old, you will be beating them off with your cane.  We love you yanno, 'cause you understand us. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ed?... so beautiful, my friend... this... and you... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You hung the moon when it was full, if only from the window~ So nicely~ |
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
wranx~ u rox my sox... no doubt about it~ love&light, **Mari** **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
At first glance I thought the title was "Edible Kitten" and I looked to see if it was written by LJ!  Then I got into the meat and the potatoes (the man and the woman) aspects of this extremely moving write. Sue's poetic reply also choked me up. Both of you are amazing ~ together ~ or each of you in your own write, I mean "right"! I would also like to echo the Serene One's comments! There is a depth of understanding women in your poetry that is very appealing to women. You see more with your heart than most men see with their eyes. Linda |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
OH WOW! Oh GOD! You M'Bro have collapsed me. Absolutely STELLAR! I've missed you   mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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Aleta Member
since 2005-04-17
Posts 102Louisiana |
Beautiful! And this ending: “A picture of the three of us standing together Burned through the snow, the asphalt and down To the core of the world, where even now If you were to look closely, you’d see our portrait Etched into bedrock, rendered in stick figures” This vision was bold in my mind and powerful in its meaning. Again… Beautiful…. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
To the core of the world, where even now If you were to look closely, you’d see our portrait Etched into bedrock, rendered in stick figures'''' ~ there is not much I could say to do this justice....so I will silently exit, shaking my head in wonder.... I came from the mountain |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I still have another picture, of you on the stairs, and I'm keeping it. With wet eyes, I lift a glass of wine in whine, *sighing* a toast...to love, something that's incomprehensible at times. |
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PouringJewels Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 158Maryland |
I am at this moment, toasting you with my dry red wine. I am forever here for you, my most talented brother. |
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