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Open Poetry #35
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one long poem
| Open Poetry #35 |
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one long poem |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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one long poem life is one long poem; the hard part is knowing where the lines end, and whether it’s worth the effort to scrounge for rhymes. the verses split almost to easily but what about the grit like punctuation? does a comma go here, or is this moment worth a semicolon? why punctuate at all and have my lines keep stopping in the middle? periods get in the way, but if they suddenly stop... and caps – don’t get me started! along that subject line, what about I? do I leave me sticking out all ego, or let me hang there juggling my tiny dot like a plate-spinner’s apprentice? supposedly you can live a sonnet, even an ode if you last long enough. that’s beyond me. I’m lucky to jerk out haiku's with plenty of fast rewrites and counting on my fingers. I envy them sometimes, the ones who can make life a sestina and stay sane, even the blank verse merchants churning patterns out of nil. it varies too much for me; the meter won’t stick and some words cycle back like bandsaw teeth while the rest hardly come at all. yes, I envy them, but sometimes not, no, not at all. this poem may be ugly, but it’s mine. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"this poem may be ugly, but it’s mine." ...NOT! Never is any of your work ugly! I know what you mean here though. I deal with the same questions. Enjoyed this m'frend. Life is one great big canvas; |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
...Worth the effort? I think so. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed I love this stream of thought coming out of you...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"the hard part is knowing where the lines end" ... so much for line breaks...  the lines NEVER end... and if we're lucky? Someone will read something of ours... and continue the flow. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Keep 'em comin', Ratleader!  Corinne |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yep....it made me grin to do that with the lines.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
it varies too much for me; the meter won’t stick and some words cycle back like bandsaw teeth while the rest hardly come at all. yes, I envy them, but sometimes not, no, not at all. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ But you ARE unique in so many wonderful ways, and that's the best part. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"do I leave me sticking out all ego, or let me hang there juggling my tiny dot" ~ I couldn't help it! I cracked up laughing at those lines! I will tell you this, Dear Leader of Rats, I always enjoy reading the individual posts of your life's poem! ~ and may it be a very loooong one!  A write as intriguing as the one who wrote it! Linda |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
why punctuate at all and have my lines keep stopping in the middle? periods get in the way, but if they suddenly stop... and caps – don’t get me started!  bethca you pull your hair out when you read me? Hey, don't ever call your poems ugly....I think not.... Your a most signficiant part of a rib here. |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
oh ed this is soooo creative, I love the frsh look on life - these lines ar emy favorite: "it varies too much for me; the meter won’t stick and some words cycle back like bandsaw teeth while the rest hardly come at all. " isn't that the truth? Excellent write my friend! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
YO E-A! .....there are lots of little "Easter Eggs" in this poem....like the ones in the lines that LeeJ just quoted.....I truly had fun with it! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Ed, I am not a poet nor a writer so I can not critique anyone's output. I just know what I like and I like what you write. Thank you for giving me your thoughts to read , marty |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Great write with such a strong ending! Eric |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very good  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I have waited what seems like forever to respond to this poem... knowing that even when I can steal a poetry break from life's demands, I won't be able to do it justice. *S* This is chock-full of phrase treasures... I love the way your mind works! *S* But this... I’m lucky to jerk out haiku's with plenty of fast rewrites and counting on my fingers. Out of everything, this stayed with me most... maybe because you've no equal when it comes to the short forms and I so envy your ability to say so much in so few words (unlike a certain verbose responder! LOL) Not ugly at all, my friend... yours never are... just always, always excellent!! |
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