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Flotsam
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Flotsam |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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I see an old Oak has come to rest on the island out front Pulled down and rushed there From somewhere upstream While I consider, briefly Just where, and how long ago, that acorn fell The damp breeze blows my hair into my face Brushing bits of it across my cigarette Effectively trimming it, into an artless style That somehow becomes me But, I don’t wish to write about allegorical journeys Decide to let drown, the too, too obvious metaphors And have this, instead, becomes Mary’s poem Mary’s hair was long then, longer than mine, now As full and straight as her unwavering gaze Her gray eyes were a shade darker than the sky today And the last time I saw her, as moist My childhood was lost somewhere in her company Mislaid, between the hot-spring of her mouth And the pale heartbreak of her nipples She was iconic in her bellbottoms and embroidery And the way she sat cross-legged to play the guitar But, that was a long time ago before the Lupus took her sanity, and finally, her life Innocence, was lost somewhere else completely |
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| © Copyright 2005 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
heartbreaking, but such a beautiful picture you've painted of her here |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Such a vivid picture of the surroundings but also what lays within a heart. How very sad this was. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
This is beauty in all its ache... The damp breeze blows my hair into my face Brushing bits of it across my cigarette Effectively trimming it, into an artless style That somehow becomes me My mother has lupus.. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
you capture moments effortlessly Ed..enjoyed |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
A beautiful association of the old oak and the memory of Mary. Both lost youth. You painted a vivid touching picture! Deeply enjoyable write. Love, Margherita |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
So vey sad Ed, especially this touches me Lupus is what took my mother at a very young age for her and I both. Well done sir.  I really want to care, |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx A magical weave of lace. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Right now I can't find the words to express how deeply this touched me... Amazing imagery brought Mary and the moments you shared to life. Well done! ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Thank you all, for commenting, and in a way, enjoying the memory of Mary with me. Donna? I understand... My own mother was taken at an early age (from Lymphoma) And Megs? I hope that treatments have advanced in the last 20 years, and that your mom is not in pain. I know it can affect virtually every part of the body, and often does. Her Lupus wasn't diagnosed until she had a baby. In retrospect, Mary always had "rosy" cheeks. I always assumed it to be a product of her skin...So pale it seemed translucent. |
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Aleta Member
since 2005-04-17
Posts 102Louisiana |
Amazing how you include the details, but so fluid in form that you welcome the reader into your thoughts effortlessly. A poignant write.... but beautiful as well... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Ed, my mom ended up with Lupus during her fourth pregnancy. The baby lived for three hours, and my mother died three days later when I was just eighteen months old. "before the Lupus took her sanity, and finally, her life" I was so very young but from what I have been told, this seems to sum up how it affected her also. Again Ed, my thanks for this and your kindness. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I can only hope that someone remembers me as you remember her...then my time here will have been successful.  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Such a vivid picture, Ed...you paint it with a brush made of heart's fiber. My father died of Lupis...and no one knew what was wrong with him until after. So sad!  |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
I see you haven't lost your touch wranx.. wayne If nothing is something |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I usually pass by the poems with titles that I don't understand, but this was a wranx poem, so I had to read very touching piece, indeed |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
A masterpiece! |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Superb words Dave |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you for sharing your memories of Mary with us Bro. heart hugs Mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Eddie? I am so sorry and this part I know too well for my own hair bears the same resemblance: The damp breeze blows my hair into my face Brushing bits of it across my cigarette Effectively trimming it, into an artless style That somehow becomes me and here: My childhood was lost somewhere in her company somehow that child lives forever even IN that memory. |
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PouringJewels Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 158Maryland |
so many more pain we will see I hate to say. Life deals good and bad cards, the bad one's seem to brand our brain. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Your images are so vivid... from branches floating on the current... to memories drifting across your mind... This poignant write goes straight to the heart. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
My childhood was lost somewhere in her company Mislaid, between the hot-spring of her mouth And the pale heartbreak of her nipples My God this sent shivers...mournful yet, bittersweet memories with images only you could articulate...amazing |
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