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Open Poetry #35
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2005-04-27 04:00 PM



From the corner of my eye
in whitest white came in the door
albino lashed a thought to me
for free it fluttered just to left
I did my best to still my breath
afraid in skirt of small spaced flight
I’d turn and rupture such delight

Behind me now I felt the smallest wind
touch the fold behind my ear with whim
like song in key of wonder it beguiled my neck
with thought of lovely trust in tangle
with my hair a riot of wings and lust

Was like the fingers of a cloud
I followed it out the door to the blackberry
blossomed and looking so like the flying thing
the flower and the creature be
a mated pair one so still and touched by air
the other twirled in and out her thorns with care
and I a voyeur to their thrill
delight the pale and capture with eyes filled
------
from 4-26-03 because, they're back!

© Copyright 2005 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
1 posted 2005-04-27 04:05 PM


lovely write Martie !!

God only promises a safe landing, not a calm flight.



Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-04-27 04:11 PM


Smiling with you...

yes, they are...

and I am enjoying the yellow swallowtails
as they hover the arborvitae....


Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
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Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2005-04-27 04:18 PM


Martie, I needed a poetry fix this afternoon, and this satisfied it beautifully! What a wonderfully descriptive piece.

Best wishes and hugs from one bird lover to another,
/Kit

Martie
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4 posted 2005-04-27 04:21 PM


Not a butterfly, Kit, but a Cabbage Moth.  They are all over the jasmine and the blackberry blossoms.  They are so pretty together!  Thank you for reading this again.  I always know it's spring when they treat me with a fly by.
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2005-04-27 04:29 PM


Oh this did make me smile Martie..
What a happy light-hearted piece this is!
Since I don't have this one in my library..
I'm popping it in there right now!!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

DavePage
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since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

6 posted 2005-04-27 04:57 PM


These words are excellent

Dave

Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
7 posted 2005-04-28 12:05 PM


This peaceful little poem is one of my favorites of yours....I remember your excitement about that little visitor, the day you wrote it....thinking you even sent a picture....wonder if I might still have it someplace?



....psst....cabbage moth is a butterfly.....check the antennae....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

8 posted 2005-04-28 07:26 AM


oh wow Martie, you always make me sigh, truly beautiful, this made me smile gentle.

love you.

a

Mxx

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

9 posted 2005-04-28 08:27 AM


martie, good morning

You are a musician of language, and this, this was spectacular...brings such warmth and color to the reader....giving your words breath....

amazing you!!!

Hugs

Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2005-04-28 03:23 PM


Oh wow Martie after reading this I can see it before me happening...

and that m'friend is good poetry, when it allows us to see through your eyes!  

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
11 posted 2005-04-28 06:06 PM


Yes, the wonders of nature, Martie, and you do them justice with this wonderful piece ... which in turn brings peace to those in need.  Oh, and I'm fine, Martie - just moving from where I'd like to be to where I have to be.
  
Take care.
Helen  

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Transylconia, Winnipeg
12 posted 2005-04-29 01:45 AM


Martie!  Another example of you in meter is just the thing to put a big grin on my face tonight.  Especially in a poem that makes me compare you so closely to Wordsworth as I always do.

The way you do it is the way I ought to learn to.  It comes out of you so freely that you seem totally unrestrained by it, and it skips along with your thoughts so naturally that I honestly feel jealous.  

I like, first of all, the vibrance of "whitest white," as though it is a white among whites (indoor whites, maybe, or outdoor---I've seen these things too, and they're indeed white even among things white).  Usually that kind of adjective doubling doesn't do much, but intensifying your first instance of colour to such an extreme actually does function really well with the overall suddenness of its appearance, and really helps that element of surprise I'm sure you were trying to emphasize.

After reading Marie's poem "Illuminating Eve," and Kacy's "Maypole Dance," I can especially appreciate the way you pause everything but your subject, even yourself (though still with that delightful subjectivity that characterizes the height of your style), for the sake of carefully watching and listening to what you're viewing, and showing it to us so much more clearly.  You only manage to "capture," in the end, with your eyes passively "filled" (a neat paradox, one of many that I've come to love in your writing).  

This is marvellous writing, Martie.  Please, do me and yourself a favour and read the poem "The Green Linnet" by William Wordsworth, which is exactly the poem that yours made me think of.  I'm sure you'll love it, if just for the delight in reading one whose perspective and poetic soul is so similar (in my opinion) to your own.  

Brian

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

Martie
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13 posted 2005-04-29 11:18 AM


Brian...thank you.  I love it when you comment..you are so complete!  And thank you for sending me to that lovely Wordsworth poem.  I am honored that you would compare me in that way.  

Thank you friends for taking the time to read this repost.  

Beki
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since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
14 posted 2005-04-29 12:27 PM


lovely and lyrical - enjoyed
mysticpoe
Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883

15 posted 2005-04-30 07:05 PM


You do paint a nice picture Martie. Enjoyed.

wayne

If nothing is something
then everything is
our thoughts and feelings
and all that exists.

Aleta
Member
since 2005-04-17
Posts 102
Louisiana
16 posted 2005-05-02 02:38 PM


Ah, this is a lovely write indeed, but then, it finds a special place in my heart, being as my mother and uncle both have albinism….  Though they look different than most on this earth; they are beautiful to me.  

Your poem appreciates the quality of loveliness rather than the derogatory difference, for that there is a graceful message no matter the biological classification.  Enjoyed!

adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
17 posted 2005-05-02 03:03 PM


Reads like a nice walk in the garden in spring. Great piece!

     adagio

Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
18 posted 2005-05-02 04:05 PM


quote:
the flower and the creature be
a mated pair one so still and touched by air
the other twirled in and out her thorns with care
and I a voyeur to their thrill
delight the pale and capture with eyes filled



I catch my breath after reading and enjoying this dance of nature and words.

You are simply outstanding.

Love, Margherita

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
19 posted 2005-05-02 05:41 PM


Martie - they are pretty and soon we will have them too when the brocoli and cabbage and stuff is growing...you write so very well my friend - Paul
Marge Tindal
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20 posted 2005-05-02 07:41 PM


MartieSis~
Oh ... this is wonderful !
I know those winged critters ... you've done them poetic justice~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

majnu
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SF Bay Area
21 posted 2005-05-02 07:56 PM


wonderful.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Mysteria
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22 posted 2005-05-02 11:41 PM


Just know I did read your poem thrice,
Shaking my head in awe too, once or twice.

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