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miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

0 posted 2005-04-22 09:33 PM

The others stood straight  NOT
Slumped as he;
They, erect with opened leaves
Wood in unity.
Not he who bowed by road
Above me.

      To whom he bowed at first I did not see
       beyond his lonely outstretched tree,
        But  he gently whispered as I passed, and
         to the wind I heard him pray,

        “Please, oh I beseech you, Breeze,
         turn assertively her branch my way.”

         As if a breeze his breath  released
         Caused flex among her stance
         and turned her leaves to dancing,
          In face to face they met.

Across opposite  brims of road they  stretched;
Stretched, and stretched,  but yet, they could not touch or meet.

“Perseverance, Stretching Tree, and Remain
with me Positive in your dream…”

        “But I gathered all the might I had, and still,
          Apart, without a shadow of a doubt.”

“Shadow of doubt seems harsh I feel,
Depressing and so Down
but look on the brighter side the
Sun shines all around!”

Then, with his branch still stretched and his head hung low
  His flecks   sneaked out to dance the road, and he began to see

     A shadow arch
      Made of leaves
     Overlapping ever after.

   At least until the sun
  Dreams down,
  Overlapping ever after...

[This message has been edited by miscellanea (04-24-2005 11:07 AM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2005-04-22 09:38 PM

Outstanding!!!
This was a delight Miscellanea...a true delight!
TD

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

2 posted 2005-04-22 09:42 PM

Thanks, TD.  I've had the yearning to write about these trees for years--just didn't know how to do it!  I'm glad you found it delightful.

       miscee

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2005-04-22 10:35 PM

What an exquisite write!!
I LOOOOOVE THIS!
Into my library this keeper is gently placed.
Hugs~Nancy

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

4 posted 2005-04-22 10:40 PM

Nancy,
It's great to hear from you again. It seems like I've been too busy or had writer's block. I miss hanging out here! Thanks for stopping by.
miscee

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2005-04-22 11:25 PM

*clapping* this is wonderfully done - love it

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

6 posted 2005-04-23 02:05 AM

I will come back to this, when my circuits aren't fouled by all this feedback.....meanwhile I'll say only that I find this poem strangely appealing -- and very strongly so. Why, is something I'll have to wait to understand, but I do know that it draws me.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Goodknight
Member Elite

since 2002-06-15

Posts 2386
Ohio, USA

7 posted 2005-04-23 02:35 PM

this is great on so many levels - first some interesting images - then the images and sounds touch deeper and then it sort of overwhelms my circuits in a great way - loved this - Paul

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

8 posted 2005-04-23 03:54 PM

Wonderful write!

Eric

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2005-04-23 05:31 PM

I do love the way you are writing lately, I always have, and always will

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

10 posted 2005-04-23 09:38 PM

Susan - I welcome the applause.  Thanks,  Susan.  Glad you enjoyed.
     ~miscellanea

Ratleader-am looking forward to hearing the pros and cons of this piece.  E-mail me if you like.  Thanks for your feedback.
     ~miscellanea

Goodknight- It sure is good to hear from you again, Paul.  I appreciate all of your comments and continued support.  I'm looking forward to seeing your name on the Poetry Scroll soon, so that I might read your poetry!

      ~miscellanea

Eric-I am always delighted to know you like my work.  Thanks, Eric.

       ~miscellanea

Passing Shadows- I'm glad you are noticing growth in my writing.  It's exciting to see it happen, isn't it?  I've watched your growth as well (Of course, you've always had the knack of creative thinking and smooth writing!)  Thanks for your sweet response.

           ~miscellanea

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2005-04-26 04:34 PM

The others stood straight NOT
Slumped as he;
They, erect with opened leaves
Wood in unity.
Not he who bowed by road
Above me.

If you'd written nothing more than these lines... it would be perfect... heck... the title is perfect. *G* But you wrote on... and I'm so glad... the perseverance... for that necessary touch... this one's going into my library. *S*

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2005-04-26 05:12 PM

What is most pleasant about this piece of art,
is your total delight in having accomplished
something you've wanted to do for so long...

and I am glad you achieved that moment.

Now...

do it again.

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