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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2005-04-21 05:00 AM

"You don't love me anymore."

I answered, then:

"I never did."

As if the badge of honesty
could make up for the cruelty
of pain his eyes would not admit
as if that made me less the bitch--
and weave the cotton of my troth
stiches in a brow and loss
and scars of explanation glib--
"Y'see, it happened, this-a-way--"
and interrupted by "like this..."

as one of us would take the cue

and allow the other's fell
like shooting apples
William Tell
style of one bad marriage.

"she doesn't love me anymore."

I shrugged and told the judge, "It's true."

As if that made it less a stab--
as if I'm less a prostitute.
As if the titlement of wife
is martyrdom, not suicide

as if there is a difference

between the lines of hell and hues
of heaven aching for a dance
but love became a game and that
became the lust of the last laugh

and rainbows nothing but a bruise
in...diminishment.

He took an arrow quivering
and bent the arc of "this ain't new"
pulling on a tired string
saying it don't mean a thing

zing

He missed me by a mile
of inches of exhale - I smiled
and grabbed the arrow in the air
to thrust into my gut despair
inbetween the ribs of trust
where the heart
produces pulse
the place that he had never been -
I smiled the blood he'd never seen
as I said to him: "You win."

I died, the proper wife.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (04-21-2005 07:19 AM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2005-04-21 06:31 AM

He missed me by a mile
of inches of exhale - I smiled
and grabbed the arrow in the air
to thrust into my gut despair
inbetween the ribs of trust
where the heart
produces pulse
the place that he had never been -
I smiled the blood he'd never seen
as I said to him: "You win."

I died, the proper wife.

~~sighing~~Karen...so sad at times...
hugs
M

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2005-04-21 07:00 AM

Love this, not the sad gist of the story line and its implications, but the way the subject is explained in fine poetic form...reminiscent of the confessionals...Sexton, Plath, Olds etc.

Well done, Serenity

----------ice/ford
><>

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2005-04-21 07:04 AM

Mo?

a

because ya know

and Ford?

oh thank you

this was written as a confessional/indictment of my part in a very bad play, so bless you for understanding

nod...smile

thank you

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

4 posted 2005-04-21 07:29 AM

huggin you cuz I've had to act these same lines once upon a time K...

Your flow is perfection lady...

how do ya do this???

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2005-04-21 08:27 AM

between the lines of hell and hues
of heaven aching for a dance
but love became a game and that
became the lust of the last laugh

and rainbows nothing but a bruise
in...diminishment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

omg ... ... ...

*of the mothy kind* (yaya)

I smiled
and grabbed the arrow in the air
to thrust into my gut despair
inbetween the ribs of trust
where the heart
produces pulse
the place that he had never been -
I smiled the blood he'd never seen
as I said to him: "You win."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

damn .................

you ARE poetry KA ...
and this one will be with me for a long time...........

(ykikykik)

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

6 posted 2005-04-21 08:31 AM

surely paints a picture of what I remember but forget....

sometimes, my friend, it's ok to be the bitch...sometimes, life calls for us, to be the bitch...

Hugs to you, this dug deeply...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

7 posted 2005-04-21 09:04 AM

serenity,
Poe's pendulum above your heart
Is but a start.
And the symbol of the blade
Lays in abrade
For there is no rim within the sphere
Nor will it ever disappear

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

8 posted 2005-04-21 09:15 AM

"between the lines of hell and hues
of heaven aching for a dance
but love became a game and that
became the lust of the last laugh

and rainbows nothing but a bruise
in...diminishment."

(worth repeating)

*shakes head*

yep.

same.

I was so intent on not hurting anyone that I allowed myself to be hurt, over and over again.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

9 posted 2005-04-21 10:05 AM

l#ve the way you word things, just so. awesome. and i remember the day my mom took hold of the arrows and jammed them straight up his..ahem nm

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

10 posted 2005-04-21 11:38 AM

Karen

This is gripping!

Cloud 9
Senior Member

since 2004-11-05

Posts 980
Ca

11 posted 2005-04-21 04:22 PM

I love this. especially with what I am going through.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

12 posted 2005-04-21 05:49 PM

He missed me by a mile
of inches of exhale - I smiled
and grabbed the arrow in the air
to thrust into my gut despair
inbetween the ribs of trust
where the heart
produces pulse
the place that he had never been -
I smiled the blood he'd never seen
as I said to him: "You win."

I died, the proper wife.

i have not the words, ]

YOU m'lady are Poetica!

mxx

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2005-04-21 05:54 PM

Enjoyed...James

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

14 posted 2005-04-21 09:24 PM

this hits hard with ache

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

15 posted 2005-04-22 12:00 PM

No point in duplicating what were my favorite parts as JM did that already. It is the WAY you wrote this one, it hits really hard images Karen, and I loved this one!

Oh heck ... I loved this:

between the lines of hell and hues
of heaven aching for a dance
but love became a game and that
became the lust of the last laugh

and rainbows nothing but a bruise
in...diminishment.

Loved it, lived it, and hated it all at the same time - you wrote it well girlfriend.

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

16 posted 2005-04-22 12:36 PM

OMG That is awesome... I just love this stuff... and man, I see (and read) so much of Twist in you, and you in her that its skeery hehe

Beautiful and amazing... and wonderfully written

Tima

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

17 posted 2005-04-22 06:13 PM

No one does it quite like you...You're writing surges into one's mind and heart; it becomes one.  And... in doing so, i feel the ache.
    Hugs,
       sadie

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

18 posted 2005-04-22 07:10 PM

only 1 thing to say...damn girl ...you can write !!!

Rick
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia

19 posted 2005-04-22 08:24 PM

So very sad, but I believe the situation in a lot of cases, love has a very fine line and how many ever find it, good luck to you in your future search.

Sincerely
Rick

adagio
Member

since 2005-03-19

Posts 449
Marrero, La.

20 posted 2005-05-02 05:05 PM

Another great one from the tiara bearer. I stumbled on to this one by accident, but I am glad that I did. See ya 'round.

adagio

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

21 posted 2005-05-03 08:44 AM

You know I understand this Karen, maybe not in the exact same context as you have portrayed or lived but here:

As if the titlement of wife
is martyrdom, not suicide

as if there is a difference

I surely have been there and I have missed reading you . . .

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

22 posted 2005-05-03 10:58 PM

you shoot your whole quiver like Robin Hood...

a peircing tome m'lady

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

23 posted 2005-05-04 07:41 AM

I'd used a net myself..(wink)

as for proper...phuckit

enjoyed the read ms karen

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

24 posted 2005-05-04 04:31 PM

I've been in that play... where the lines keep spewing forth however much you wish intermission would arrive... and the taste of those words lingers for what seems like forever.

Incredibly powerful write...

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

25 posted 2005-05-16 01:20 PM

I know I replied to this....I know I did...but my name isn't here....sigh...its bad enough to have nothing to say, but when you do finally click a reply and then to have it stolen by the cyber ghosts...sigh...
your pain, I do not envy, your muse, I do...
mine has gone numb...sigh

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

26 posted 2005-05-16 01:41 PM

Karen, I feel like all I can say is "Wow" ... but that's not nearly enough to let you know the impact this write slams across the pages with.

Brilliant writing, from the concept through to the feelings and ache portrayed. Pauses and hard hitting words in all the right places. Really well done, and one that will stay with me for a long, long time.

Best wishes,
/Kit

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

27 posted 2005-05-16 01:47 PM

i don't have the words....but know this...or I did...thank God, I haven't for a long long time...(((you still never forget it)))

You amaze, but then, I've told you that before

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

28 posted 2005-05-16 01:48 PM

~ been there! done that! You said it, sister!

Sending a sling and some arrows for you to keep on hand! A woman never knows when she may need them!

To keep our edges sharp, the bitch in us is sometimes called for! ~ I just wished I had known that when I was acting in a similar play!

EA

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

29 posted 2005-05-16 04:48 PM

Linda? When they first started calling me "witch" I answered, "Surely you have a lisp..."

And Kit and jb? Always a pleasure to know that you've read.

And to anyone else I forgot to thank, someday, I will write happiness again.

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