Open Poetry #35 |
Canoe (word play inspired by Midnitesun) |
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Canoe Capsized Canoe help him prevail the rushing waters before slapped by stones, Let his hands find your shining edge That he might breathe the air trapped within your shell? Canoe carry him for moment far from rivers tear, and In your hollow darkness, shield him against shimmering midday glare? Canoe do this for my gasping friend Give shelter while current passing, share your vital air? ~miscee~ ****the word play was inspired by Midnitesun in her title, Quilling Me Softly. Thanks, Midnitesun for your wonderful poem. (Also, I credit the canoe sign that I see everyday on my way to work. It has been toiling with me to write a poem about canoeing...) ~miscee [This message has been edited by miscellanea (04-08-2005 09:09 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2005 Cathy Farmer - All Rights Reserved | |||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I think it's okay just as it is enjoyed the inspiration here |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Thanks Dixie. Sure appreciate your response. Good to see you again. miss c |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like this very much... especially the poignant ending... well done! *S* |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
suthern, Glad you commented favorably to the ending because it bothered me a bit. I thought it was too poignant until I changed a word. Then,I wondered if that softened it any. Thanks for dropping in. Take care. ~miscee |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Sniffing here, and sending you a big hug! Canoe guess how this made me feel tonight? |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Whoops! just capsized and bungled my response! ~~~~~ Midnitesun's poem is an inspiration. [This message has been edited by Sadelite (04-09-2005 10:53 AM).] |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Great poetry here - thanks to the canoe for its inspiration - you did very well with it - Paul |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
this must be the day for boo-boos; I see I already posted to this; oh, well--what does it tell me? Stay off the river, or at least, check out the the blue waters first! [This message has been edited by Sadelite (04-14-2005 06:45 PM).] |
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