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Open Poetry #35
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Dreams Bleed
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Dreams Bleed |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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Calm Stillness I am comforted by the dark my thoughts of time lost. It wasn't wasted time as 2 became 5 and the extra 3 are beloved to me. But it was hard. Harder than I let on. Tears do not do it justice. Innocent I took the vow. Innocent I smiled at our plans of future riches and happiness. There never was that picket fence. There never was satisfaction in what was had tainted as it was by an addicts hand. Buried alive, trying so hard to be still. I didn't move much in later years knowing to fight circumstance would be futile. Nothing was going to change. I groveled and pleaded redemption for my lack of making it better. Not understanding then just the want of better gave strength for what was to come. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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| © Copyright 2005 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
It wasn't wasted time as 2 became 5 and the extra 3 are beloved to me. smiles and hugs, very much enjoyed this...you are extremely colorful...in a great blessing sort of way... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Not understanding then just the want of better gave strength for what was to come. amen sister, you said a mouth full! Indeed it does, and damn, aren't we glad it does! Hugs for this'n.... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
yes, 'the want of better' is a strengthening motivator |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
and then to make matters worse you i started emailing you..  sighs but things will get better, according to tv utter bliss is as close as a bottle of shampoo or a tube of toothpaste grins hugskiss |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Susan - this tugs and pulls- you effectively take one's emotions in hands and make them feel - Hugs -  SusanIf I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . . |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I could see and feel the red of your dreams. May new dreams bring promise to your days ~ and nights...  Linda |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sighness |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you for reading and replying  and Karen?  I know you know."too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"Nothing was going to change. I groveled and pleaded redemption for my lack of making it better. Not understanding then just the want of better gave strength for what was to come" amazing how deeply, this touches... wow..wow..wow... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I know too much of this... so I send heartfelt hugs. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
strength and courage throughout the write |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
"Innocent I took the vow. Innocent I smiled at our plans of future riches and happiness. There never was that picket fence. There never was satisfaction in what was had tainted as it was by an addicts hand." This sounds familiar... No one wants their marriage to end and when you have done all you can to make it work and the other makes no attempt TO make it work.......something in you just snaps and you give up because that person will never change. Great write. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I read this yesterday, and the bleed was too close to home... So I had to cowgirl up in order to come back and say... yes, exactly...this is how it was. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Awesome write. Much enjoyed. Chris "The soul that can speak through the eyes can also kiss with a gaze." |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I LOVE it... You're very good.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 yes, only makes it stronger |
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stevebrklynnyc Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292GA, Camden |
I never used them to be with you. I still love you, cant you see that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Let me clear this up: "Calm Stillness I am comforted by the dark my thoughts of time lost. It wasn't wasted time as 2 became 5 and the extra 3 are beloved to me. two, as in me and my ex husband, the extra 3 being my children. But it was hard. Harder than I let on. Tears do not do it justice. Innocent I took the vow. Innocent I smiled at our plans of future riches and happiness. the vow being marriage. Innocent because I didn't understand that addiction would ruin the life we had planned There never was that picket fence. There never was satisfaction in what was had tainted as it was by an addicts hand. addiction being his alcoholism Buried alive, trying so hard to be still. I didn't move much in later years knowing to fight circumstance would be futile. buried because I still tried to have the happy life..hope. Not moving is metaphoric for trying not to rock the boat because I knew he wasn't going to change Nothing was going to change. I groveled and pleaded redemption for my lack of making it better. I was dealing with my own guilt for staying in the marriage so long that my children were affected by the behavior of their father Not understanding then just the want of better gave strength for what was to come" this is finding hope through strength So you see, this has nothing to do with you again. Nothing in my life has anything to do with you now. Where I was blind I now see. Go away, leave me alone and stop using pip, my home, to get to me. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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