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Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2005-03-29 09:31 PM

Um free style yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Distroying you

I wear my hair like a mask
Only to let the wind to reveal my face

And you my dear friend
You walk in the spring rain

Well that’s fine
I’ll let you drowned in melancholy

It’s like asking a physics teacher
For an autonomy lesson for a day
In the end no one is happy

The student walks home
With less then what she came with

My friend
I am not the only one
Losing you

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

1 posted 2005-03-30 08:56 PM

Enjoyed...James

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2005-03-30 09:57 PM

I'm the world's biggest sucker for a poem that changes direction....when it's prettily done and the turnabout is logical, something that is also real..... and I like this one, yep!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

3 posted 2005-03-30 10:46 PM

Oh thank you every one.

Ratleader I haven't heard from you in a while, my friend. I have been really busy in collage.

Juju

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

4 posted 2005-03-30 11:04 PM

RL, I am glad you liked the technique I used. I figured alot of poeple wouldn't like it and the double metaphore, but I used turning directions to show the relationship between me and my friend, and even to know me. to know where I come from. A double metaphore is a made up word to explain the type of metaphores I use where it can be taken to different ways and yet I use both ways in the poem. In this one the metaphore (simile) says a logical analogy mixed with an innuendo. I actually mean both. Since I never seen another poet do it, I never expect other poets to catch it.

Thank you ratleader for noticing that, it kinda makes me happy.

Juju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

5 posted 2005-04-01 04:12 PM

My metaphore probably didn't work, because I used the wrong word. autonomy => anatomy. YOu see I used word and spelled the word wrong and speel check incorrectly corrected it. so I hope you'll understand the poem... if some one reads it know. )...;

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