Do You Remember? (Ed's Challenge)

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Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-11-11 10:45 AM

You whispered..”Do you remember?”

I thought but a moment, knowing my
answer would never stun or surprise,
for my eyes spoke my message as old
eyes gazed into the darkness of
soft and shimmering youth.

“Yes, I remember, I remember all.”
For it was then that a boy first spoke,
first felt as a man, though my tears
and shivering fear exposed the
youth of me.

Fall came softly upon the dunes, as
a landscape absorbed a hue of orange
and red....and I shivered the cool of
desert night. Standing there, gazing
upon silent beckoning stars.

They spoke to me, those stars of
brilliance, calling to the man of me.
Knowing my time had come...and
the cool steel of a locomotive hummed
the night.

How can I ever forget the day my youth
abandoned me, went running into the
night, falling amongst the dunes...leaving
the man, ever timid....to stand and promise
to keep safe and sacred all of my lands
that cast before my wet eyes.

Yes, I remember that solemn and
somber day, as a train swayed into the
chill of night and a boy hugged a pillow,
trying to become a man...

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2004-11-11 12:29 PM

Barry - you write magic - and I love losing myself in your words -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-11-11 01:23 PM

Bravo Sir...

indeed, well done..

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-11-11 01:25 PM

soft breath..
and a whisper of Bravo....

The greatest beauty on earth, is
found in the hearts of those
who love....

myheart
Member

since 2004-11-05

Posts 160
lost in your eyes

4 posted 2004-11-11 01:44 PM

Yes, I remember that solemn and
somber day, as a train swayed into the
chill of night and a boy hugged a pillow,
trying to become a man...

this is awesome Magnus. enjoyed.

~myheart~

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2004-11-11 02:00 PM

Grit, you have...grit! Well done, then and now.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

quatro
Member

since 2003-04-29

Posts 392
Galveston, Texas

6 posted 2004-11-11 02:33 PM

BRAVO!!! This was one of those reads where you have to read it again and again and again for the sheer pleasure of it! Wonderfully written and expressed.

quatro

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

7 posted 2004-11-11 03:25 PM

*sniff*

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

8 posted 2004-11-11 05:49 PM

*sigh* Another beautiful masterpiece. You never fail to amaze.
*Allison*

~~~***~~~Come away with me, Wendy. Come away to Neverland~~~***~~~

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 2004-11-11 06:13 PM

Magnus~
You literally left me red-eyed with tears of tender remembrance~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email [email protected]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

10 posted 2004-11-11 06:28 PM

"Yes, I remember that solemn and
somber day, as a train swayed into the
chill of night and a boy hugged a pillow,
trying to become a man..."

Beautiful dear Barry...much enjoyed.
Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
So you won't ever forget me ~

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