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Open Poetry #34
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Rather Than Beneath (A GS/Muted Offering)
| Open Poetry #34 |
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Rather Than Beneath (A GS/Muted Offering) |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989
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These sullen gray mists cover my thoughts this darker repose of nature comes crawling in blanketing the hollow cavities that once bled deep in my chest warming me in frostbitten angst to hide my vacancies, the vulnerabilities where once the wind raped the seethe this naked belief that I held no guise under all those watchful eyes that traced my decline descending into this abyss forlorn, I, this mere mortal in continual struggle climbing perfectly polished walls, alabaster, uncarved the pristine of what I'll never be reflecting my imperfections with audience of critics blinking my image deflecting the bare truth of me its not always what it seems, forcing myself, I must believe in those things inside, I've yet to see; and reside outside this cavernous thought, rather than beneath. {thank you, Dawn for the pleasure.....} The greatest beauty on earth, is found in the hearts of those who love.... |
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| © Copyright 2004 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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babygirlwlove Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180New York City |
ooo nice blend of voices...uplifting message... love&light, **babygirl** **Intoxicant to the SouL** |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Ladies~ Take a well-deserved bow~  *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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DavePage Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917 |
Very well written Dave |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
very nice |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
October must be "Duet Month" And here, another fine offering. Nicely done Donna and Dawnunder! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you both for this mindmeld... it was difficult to distinguish who wrote what... a seamless penning... a duet of worth! Thank you! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
thank you so much for the lovely replies... and Donna, thank YOU...for keeping my muse busy..... the experience is always a lovely one  |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Nice blending! If I hadn't read the title and known it was a duet, I would have believed only one person wrote this! Encore! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
When two poets write together well, it becomes very difficult to discern which is which. Such is the case here. Very nice collaboration, ladies. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Beautiful writing, you two. But I knew it would be!!  Hugs, Ethel  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
speechless, an unexpected surprise. simply stunning work you two, bows low |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"forcing myself, I must believe in those things inside, I've yet to see" oh outstanding work you two!!! "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
My thanks to each of you. Writing this with Dawn was pure enjoyment, she has such talent with words and is a gift. Dawn, thank YOU for allowing me to stretch my wings a bit....it felt darn good to do so. Your incredible lady! The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Donna & Dawn, Together you have taken flight to a higher place. Wonderful write... If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow |
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MovesInSilence Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111Perth, Australia |
I love it when two people work together so well to create something this good. It's not the blindfold that blinds you, |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
*slapping forehead,* I thought I replied to this.....lovely you two....more more more.....hugsssssx2 ~~*~~ |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
This is beautiful writing, as it always is, you write beautifully together and it IS such a struggle, isnt it? Being ourselves, rather being true to us. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
My thanks to each of you for such gracious replies. Dawn truly made this beautiful, and if you ever have the chance to duet with this fantastic lady you are in for a treat. Peace to all and hugs. ~D~ The greatest beauty on earth, is |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"the pristine of what I'll never be reflecting my imperfections with audience of critics blinking my image deflecting the bare truth of me its not always what it seems," And sometimes it is just what it appears to be--like this. This is a piece of heart-art.  I loved it. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
BRAVA! what a beautiful blending, a harmony of poetic delight! |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
to all of youand double to you Donna |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
You two are quite the team. ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened... |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh oh oh! How did I miss this beauty? Fantabulous work both of you. What a team! Enjoyed. Mxx and I am haunted |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Spirit most definitely was not Mute with this fine collaborative poetic offering.  Kudos! & Linda |
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