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Open Poetry #34
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The Dangers of a Moment at Barnes and Nobles
| Open Poetry #34 |
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The Dangers of a Moment at Barnes and Nobles |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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if one could write the silence of an afternoon spent cleaning up the ashes of last night’s phoenix, i’d read it. i wouldn’t buy it – oh no – but i might sit down in a bookstore sofa with a cup of chocolate and the sticky residue of the last intellectual’s bubblegum clinging to my jeans while i cracked it open like a stale beer on sunday night. i’d start on page two - start away from the boring, self-indulgent, introductory prologue that’s meant only to hook-line-and-sinker me into the guts of the author’s instabilitego (unstable ego, for those who don’t have one and don’t care to reason it out) this is where the proverbial stage is set – lights lit, voices hushed, sentences sentenced and - - - - - - let the importance of cohesive grammar be noticed while he attempts to figure out what he’s trying to say. on page three, he’d probably point out that the cloudy sky after a summer storm is never seen in winter and is rarely remarked on outside of conversation. the vagaries of seasons would be marveled at even as they are comparisoned to the wonders of a childhood the subject never really had (despite the fact that he didn’t instantly jump from thirteen to thirty, there’s somehow a lost childhood that’s become the hollywood-hot response for just about any unfair act-bad-decision-i messed my pants kinda move a person might make… these days) four would be the true “kicker,” where beer bottles and condoms lying in the gutter become a metaphor for something he thinks is important, but doesn’t know enough about to attack it from the front. instead, like a musashi wannabe, he tries to take its importance to a pie chart and five bronze rings that do nothing more strategic than to surround yourself while your enemies laugh themselves into defeat. five, of course, would be where he reiterates his point; says exactly the same thing, but oh-so-cleverly mixes the words around as if a novel could be written on the fridge… with some magnetic – poetic – pathetic words. ok, so i made that last part up. so did he. and i ask again (again again again) how is he different? this makes me stop reading somewhere around page six or so, deciding that like life, depth is illusory and there’s rarely a need to dig deeper than the thumbtack you stick in the donkey’s tail. see, beauty’s only skin deep, but an ass can travel much farther. egowhores.com - really love yourself. |
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| © Copyright 2005 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Christopher, you don't write much... but when you do, it's awesome! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Bookstores? hmmmm... Oh yeah!! I've heard of those...its a place with words typed on pages and we can read them without scrolling and stroking a mouse...right? Wow...they STILL have them? hard to believe anyone buys books, isnt it?   if one could write the silence of an afternoon spent cleaning up the ashes of last night’s phoenix, i’d read it. (IWIHWT) you write it...I'll read it |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
five, of course, would be where he reiterates his point; says exactly the same thing, but oh-so-cleverly mixes the words around as if a novel could be written on the fridge… with some magnetic – poetic – pathetic words. yeah.. that part too... (IWIHWT) Among the kingdom of the winds ... |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Diddo p.s.. I like your stuff. JUju |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Amazing write!  ~Alli~ *AIM = Alli4000* Journal! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
smiling wide-- feeling a little jaded?  and gigglesand yanno? I try to resist the urge to read in public. I critique out loud.  and nod, had I come across this, and happened to read, I would have been caught sniggling in familiarity, as I too, read with a mental sharpie. And as for the last line about the ass? Makes me wonder why I'm still here. Enjoyed, C.  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I liked the way you played this out, Christopher. No warm and fuzzies about it, you wielded a sharp eye and laid the scene out well. I usually try to get to page 10 before I know whether or not I'm going to like what's before me.  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Christopher, every time you write it is such a treat for the reader. You have an exceptional talent in you. This is a  |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"if one could write the silence of an afternoon spent cleaning up the ashes of last night’s phoenix, i’d read it" loved this.... and "as if a novel could be written on the fridge… with some magnetic – poetic – pathetic words. ok, so i made that last part up. so did he. and i ask again (again again again) how is he different? this makes me stop reading somewhere around page six or so, deciding that like life, depth is illusory" very cool... see? I read too, not just look at your cute Kissy Face  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Well well, it 'bout time you got yourself here, bin waiting for ya.... I just love the opening lines Christopher and like Janet, I wish I had written them, and the rest? well....just followed on magnificently. More from you would be lovely Christopher. Maree and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
deciding that like life, depth is illusory and there’s rarely a need to dig deeper than the thumbtack you stick in the donkey’s tail. see, beauty’s only skin deep, but an ass can travel much farther. had to smile at your words of truth~~ M |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Bravo, Christopher, Bravo! ~tier |
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IndigoEve Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279Etched in the illusion of time |
Bless you for breaking through the trite. It's different. If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, loving the replies ALMOST as much as this write. And as I sit on my ass wondering why I am still taking pen in hand, I have to laugh again, about that intellectual bubble gum line. Brilliant piece.  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Agreeing with the others, Christopher....excellent writing! |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Great write! ~Alli~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
WOW....going back to read it again. |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
always amazed you write, I'll buy anytime! (the book/s) hugssss you... ~~*~~ |
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Red Dreams Member
since 2005-01-09
Posts 90massachusetts |
that was delicious. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Now, tell us what you really think!  I understand. Of late, my muse has been trying to deal with the phony poetry I've been reading . . . |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Thanks all - jaded? j-j-jaded? never. egowhores.com - really love yourself. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Okay...okay....smartypants....  ...your writing amazes me.This is another...yes..another one of yours going into my library. Hugs, Chris |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I didn't know you could play pin the tail on the donkey at Barnes and Noble????? Well, that does it...I'm changing book stores!!!! So do enjoy your writings...and would read any of your books you would line the walls of any bookstore with, anytime...tremendous write...enjoyed. |
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