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Open Poetry #34
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Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2005-02-12 12:45 PM



if one could write the silence
of an afternoon spent cleaning up the ashes of last night’s phoenix,
i’d read it.
i wouldn’t buy it – oh no –
but i might sit down in a bookstore sofa with a cup of chocolate and the
sticky residue of the last intellectual’s bubblegum clinging to my jeans
while i cracked it open like a stale beer on sunday night.

i’d start on page two
     - start away from the boring, self-indulgent, introductory prologue
that’s meant only to hook-line-and-sinker me into the guts
of the author’s instabilitego
(unstable ego, for those who don’t have one
and don’t care to reason it out)

this is where the proverbial stage is set – lights lit, voices hushed,
sentences sentenced and - - -
     - - - let the importance of cohesive grammar be noticed
while he attempts to figure out what he’s trying to say.

on page three,
he’d probably point out that the cloudy sky
after a summer storm
is never seen in winter
and is rarely remarked on outside of conversation.

the vagaries of seasons would be marveled at
even as they are comparisoned to the wonders
of a childhood the subject never really had
(despite the fact that he didn’t instantly jump from thirteen to thirty,
there’s somehow a lost childhood that’s become the
hollywood-hot response for just about any unfair act-bad-decision-i messed my pants
kinda move a person might make… these days)

four would be the true “kicker,”
where beer bottles and condoms lying in the gutter
become a metaphor for something he thinks is important,
but doesn’t know enough about to attack it from the front.

instead, like a musashi wannabe,
he tries to take its importance to a pie chart
and five bronze rings that do nothing more strategic than to surround yourself
while your enemies laugh themselves into defeat.

five, of course, would be where he reiterates his point;
says exactly the same thing, but oh-so-cleverly mixes the words around
as if a novel could be written on the fridge…
with some magnetic – poetic – pathetic words.

ok,
so i made that last part up.
so did he.
and i ask again (again again again)
how is he different?

this makes me stop reading somewhere around page six or so,
deciding that like life,
depth is illusory
and there’s rarely a need to dig deeper
than the thumbtack you stick in the donkey’s tail.

see, beauty’s only skin deep,
but an ass can travel much farther.

egowhores.com - really love yourself.

© Copyright 2005 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2005-02-12 12:52 PM


Christopher, you don't write much... but when you do, it's awesome!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2005-02-12 01:10 PM


Bookstores? hmmmm...
Oh yeah!! I've heard of those...its a place with words typed on pages and we can read them without scrolling and stroking a mouse...right? Wow...they STILL have them? hard to believe anyone buys books, isnt it?   


if one could write the silence
of an afternoon spent cleaning up the ashes of last night’s phoenix,
i’d read it.



(IWIHWT)

you write it...I'll read it  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2005-02-12 01:13 PM


five, of course, would be where he reiterates his point;
says exactly the same thing, but oh-so-cleverly mixes the words around
as if a novel could be written on the fridge…
with some magnetic – poetic – pathetic words.


yeah.. that part too... (IWIHWT)

Among the kingdom of the winds ...
perhaps there is one of elegant mind,
who has no need to intrude on the solitude of single things.

CB

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
4 posted 2005-02-12 02:15 PM


Diddo p.s..

I like your stuff.

JUju

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
5 posted 2005-02-12 03:04 PM


Amazing write!

~Alli~

*AIM = Alli4000*    Journal!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2005-02-12 04:09 PM


smiling wide--

feeling a little jaded?

and giggles

and yanno? I try to resist the urge to read in public. I critique out loud.

and nod, had I come across this, and happened to read, I would have been caught sniggling in familiarity, as I too, read with a mental sharpie.

And as for the last line about the ass? Makes me wonder why I'm still here.

Enjoyed, C.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2005-02-12 04:29 PM



I liked the way you played this out, Christopher. No warm and fuzzies about it, you wielded a sharp eye and laid the scene out well. I usually try to get to page 10 before I know whether or not I'm going to like what's before me.


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2005-02-12 04:44 PM


Christopher, every time you write it is such a treat for the reader. You have an exceptional talent in you. This is a
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
9 posted 2005-02-12 04:54 PM


"if one could write the silence
of an afternoon spent cleaning up the ashes of last night’s phoenix,
i’d read it"


loved this....

and

"as if a novel could be written on the fridge…
with some magnetic – poetic – pathetic words.

ok,
so i made that last part up.
so did he.
and i ask again (again again again)
how is he different?

this makes me stop reading somewhere around page six or so,
deciding that like life,
depth is illusory"


very cool...
see? I read too, not just look at your cute Kissy Face



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2005-02-12 05:02 PM


Well  well, it 'bout time you got yourself here, bin waiting for ya....
I just love the opening lines Christopher and like Janet, I wish I had written them, and the rest? well....just followed on magnificently.

More from you would be lovely Christopher.

Maree


and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2005-02-12 05:04 PM


deciding that like life,
depth is illusory
and there’s rarely a need to dig deeper
than the thumbtack you stick in the donkey’s tail.

see, beauty’s only skin deep,
but an ass can travel much farther.


had to smile at your words of truth~~

M

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
12 posted 2005-02-12 08:24 PM


Bravo, Christopher, Bravo!


~tier

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
13 posted 2005-02-13 03:11 PM


Bless you for breaking through the trite. It's different.

If I were to touch you, would you bleed a velvet river, running miracles through the sodden ground? --Moi

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2005-02-13 05:26 PM


LOL, loving the replies ALMOST as much as this write.
And as I sit on my ass wondering why I am still taking pen in hand,
I have to laugh again, about that intellectual bubble gum line.
Brilliant piece.

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
15 posted 2005-02-13 06:22 PM


Agreeing with the others, Christopher....excellent writing!
*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
16 posted 2005-02-13 07:25 PM


Great write!

~Alli~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
17 posted 2005-02-13 08:11 PM


WOW....going back to read it again.
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
18 posted 2005-02-13 08:45 PM


always amazed

you write, I'll buy anytime! (the book/s)

hugssss you...

~~*~~
the wind sings with the calm
tranquilize in the night
sien beauty on my lips
~~**~~

Red Dreams
Member
since 2005-01-09
Posts 90
massachusetts
19 posted 2005-02-13 09:45 PM


that was delicious.
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

20 posted 2005-02-13 11:12 PM


Now, tell us what you really think!  
I understand.
Of late, my muse has been trying to deal with the phony poetry I've been reading . . .

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
21 posted 2005-02-14 11:25 AM


Thanks all - jaded? j-j-jaded? never.

egowhores.com - really love yourself.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
22 posted 2005-02-14 06:39 PM


Okay...okay....smartypants.... ...your writing amazes me.
This is another...yes..another one of yours going into my library. Hugs, Chris

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

23 posted 2005-02-15 08:30 AM


I didn't know you could play pin the tail on the donkey at Barnes and Noble?????  Well, that does it...I'm changing book stores!!!!

So do enjoy your writings...and would read any of your books you would line the walls of any bookstore with, anytime...tremendous write...enjoyed.

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