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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2005-02-07 07:39 PM

{From my Journals of Endless Winters}

~~

{Just before, the music is tender}

Now midnight-perhaps she sleeps with another
in greener fields and white orchids

I might say, there are no stars tonight,
  instead I recall history& how
I walked by unrecognized, wondering
why am I alone

I found silence; a silence with the scent of oceans
a seething force of
nature changed or changing

but lifting the shades nothing had changed
even the panes revealed recent tears

darkness will settle

painting eyelids with velvet black
it all runs  together

If I ever pray again
it will be to the crimson moon -

I belonged there
one of those rare moments
of frozen space
&curved words

surviving the meeting of
worlds with false peace –
I have not yet released

   touching that which changes --
      lonely devotions
infected with such light
it echoes at daybreak
tracing  edges

I can not remember the
first time I noticed the walls
& if  it matched  my mood,
or even the smell of cigarettes

winter will leave with the taste of nothing
   {for years to come}

but

sad laughter gently inviting
the casual glance of

empty eyes

~~*~~
My Shadow is the only one
that walks beside me
~~**~~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

1 posted 2005-02-07 07:43 PM

oh damn lady...
right through the heart to the strings you tug on.
God, this is eloquent in it's beauty...

teach me to do this someday?

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2005-02-07 07:45 PM

All I can say is speechless.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

3 posted 2005-02-07 08:29 PM

very nice. as usual, a soft whisper.

quote:
I found silence; a silence with the scent of oceans
a seething force of
nature changed or changing

but lifting the shades nothing had changed
even the panes revealed recent tears

darkness will settle

this was my favorite part and could have been a poem in itself. (maybe it was...)

changed/changing

egowhores.com - really love yourself.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2005-02-07 09:55 PM

I found silence; a silence with the scent of oceans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AGAIN I say to you...I wish I had wrote that line......

but lifting the shades nothing had changed
even the panes revealed recent tears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I ever pray again
it will be to the crimson moon -

I belonged there
one of those rare moments
of frozen space
&curved words

surviving the meeting of
worlds with false peace –
I have not yet released

   touching that which changes --
      lonely devotions
infected with such light
it echoes at daybreak
tracing  edges
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*sigh*
I hang on your every poetically, perfect, word.

Among the kingdom of the winds ...
perhaps there is one of elegant mind,
who has no need to intrude on the solitude of single things.

CB

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2005-02-07 10:18 PM

May I echo JM with the 'poetically perfect'.
Beautiful this ..
Beautiful you..
Love ya lady~

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
an invincible summer.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

6 posted 2005-02-07 10:40 PM

you embody subtle touch and eloquence - I enjoyed this muchly-

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2005-02-08 02:46 AM

I'm always in awe of you

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

8 posted 2005-02-08 07:48 AM

when her light side dances
her dark side hides
and waits for the smile
of her lover
to whisper dreams

lady lauren, you just do it
and leave your perfume on it
then smile from the sky

enjoyed it

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

9 posted 2005-02-08 08:09 AM

I wish I'd written this!
My goodness, it's amazing.
So sad, melancholy, longing, painful.
I do see a hope,
though it may be on the edge of hollow.

Very poignent andd full of excellent imagery.
Nothing less than beautiful.

I'll keep it in my library...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

10 posted 2005-02-08 01:04 PM

I belonged there
one of those rare moments
of frozen space
&curved words

Excellent in poetic expressions and in conveying emotions.

Beautiful!

Love, Margherita

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

11 posted 2005-02-08 07:48 PM

And hanging on your every word makes for some serious aching...

Well done.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

12 posted 2005-02-08 07:56 PM

"I found silence; a silence with the scent of oceans
a seething force of
nature changed or changing"
Lauren, this was extremely beautiful writing. Much appreciated. *hugs* jo

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

13 posted 2005-02-08 10:28 PM

My love and thanks to all for such heartfelt replies and for reading this rant!

love to all

~~*~~
My Shadow is the only one
that walks beside me
~~**~~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

14 posted 2005-02-10 11:57 AM

Hey Lady L~ If this is a rant
can we get you to rant somemore...

love the way you rant gal!

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