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LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

0 posted 2004-10-28 08:26 AM

Giving blood for your past
Whispering sweaty palms
I washed your cloths
People didn’t know
The rock hard threshold
You sung to me…alone
Whipped away our safety deposit box
Blackouts bobbed up and down
You winked at me, behind closed doors
while
The roof leaked & our flowers passed away
You buried them where I wouldn’t look
In an empty space at the end of our drive
Where sumac began to grow
You could hear the cash register cling
A mile away, walking home

I had to ask why you led while we danced
Stepping all over my toes
Where was our divan?
And when you decided
To relocate our home?

Questions became threads for denials
Silence ripped louder through my veins
Becoming an approval addict
The gold numbers on our house rusted
With shame.

Probable excuse became your foster home
Triumph wore your black hair
Starring at all passing trains
Your words swarmed me like arrows
Grabbing…ripping apart at the cracks
In my hands
Lotion became obsolete
I’d pass out from lack of oxygen
Trying to hold on, to something, anything…
But your words held a gun to my head
There was nothing more I could do
The trigger engaged
And the bang
Left me in a vanquished heap
Shattering glass, cutting my feet
Until I could no longer recognize
My own shoes
I’d lost them, my cloths
The dish rag
Lost the kitchen dishes
Drowning in dirty sink water
You’re screaming bad breath
Stained my teeth
Tossing me from room to room
You threw away my favorite hat
And all my photographs from school

Darkness rolled over the car keys
Playing hide and seek
While you stuck a match, laughing
Ripping dawn from my cheek

Like some drunken stupor breaking ribs
Sewing a necklace of confusion
My soul lay dead,
Penniless
You ripped the child from the doll carriage
I pretended to smile
Folding myself into floor tile
You began to replace
Chipping and chiseling away at each core
Demolishing any shine

A wrecking ball you rented
Savagely destroyed our fine china
The one’s your mother bought
While she smiled telling stories
of how you wet the bed
How your father
Chained you to the dinning room table
Because you forgot to ask
“May I be excused?”

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2004-10-28 08:31 AM

LeeJ
May I wish you a better morning then the one you wrote. Well done

babygirlwlove
Senior Member

since 2004-10-10

Posts 1180
New York City

2 posted 2004-10-28 08:32 AM

ooo girl...this is deep...confessional...

and downright honest...

wow,
**babygirL**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2004-10-28 09:45 AM

dang

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

4 posted 2004-10-28 09:45 AM

and then the moon
made new windows
in the dreams
of our nightmares

love your soul Lee J

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2004-10-28 11:39 AM

wow ...Lee...I guess I am lucky ( if one can say that)I have more control over this situation and even though it is taking longer for me...the animosity isn't there..and the only cruelness I receive is when he has imbibed..and I can always lock the door and leave him to himself..

Lots of pain there..
hugs
M

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

6 posted 2004-10-28 11:43 AM

Probably the most hard hitting of all your poems to date...this spoke volumes, and I hope you can feel my empathy, and

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2004-10-28 12:45 PM

LeeJ

Such hard truth I feel in this...it cuts to the very soul of this reader and leaves me not knowing how to reply adaquetly.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

8 posted 2004-10-28 02:53 PM

Wow - this is intense and creates quite the impact - it stirs compassion in the soul for the wounded -

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

9 posted 2004-10-29 04:44 AM

This is a very personal poem...must have been dificult to write...but then you always have been my favourite poet here anyway..thank you..

Goldenrose.

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved. (Victor Hugo.)

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

10 posted 2004-10-29 04:59 AM

what dixie said...
ouch.

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

11 posted 2004-12-01 04:01 PM

"A wrecking ball you rented
Savagely destroyed our fine china
The one’s your mother bought
While she smiled telling stories
of how you wet the bed
How your father
Chained you to the dinning room table
Because you forgot to ask
“May I be excused?”"

So intense Lee J. How did I miss this one?
Very impressive write.

JL

Kristabell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 678
Portland, OR

12 posted 2004-12-01 04:14 PM

Nice

*Alli4000*