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Open Poetry #34
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I Should
| Open Poetry #34 |
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I Should |
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Catrina Member
since 2004-11-10
Posts 132 |
My horoscope said I should be good to write poems today, truthful forthright and loving for the heart is there to hear them now I should write a poem today, but my words are garbled by your tongue… reaching places where fires burn, quenching them with your hunger, as you do… as your hand feels the beat of this heart of poems… I should write a poem today, but envy wears me for all who seek you or is it jealous love that veils me now…for you are free to play and seek the lips of others, as mine reach for you… my horoscope said I should write a poem today… but I think I won’t, or at least if I were to do so, I should scratch out those lines where my heart shows most… for you should know only freedom to choose whose tongue should be garbled next… |
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| © Copyright 2005 Catrina - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Very thought provoking. Deep thoughts and disorder. Excellent write! JL |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
my horoscope said I should write a poem today… but I think I won’t, or at least if I were to do so, I should scratch out those lines where my heart shows most… never scratch out those lines Lady, ever... for sometimes it is those very lines that bring the biggest smiles. Hugs you... |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms kitty interesting view here you are hidden behind the glass a clear veil perhaps? enjoyed this |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
most of the time, my horoscope is on target, but sometimes...wow, they couldn't be more wrong! |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
These things tend to work themselves out.... It's only a tendency, alas -- very often they hang and hang, unable to rise, unable to fall. I know very much how this can go, and the pain it can bring when one can, while the other can't. If this poem is based in actuality rather than simply feeling real because it's so well-written, you have my sympathy...and my hope that it will resolve. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
you did write a poem today...and each day that follows will be more and more unfolding...with you in thought... well done |
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Red Dreams Member
since 2005-01-09
Posts 90massachusetts |
oh the irony is nice. so passive-aggressive and yet so simply stated and innocently insecure. |
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Catrina Member
since 2004-11-10
Posts 132 |
JL, disorderly, yes...very... some lines need to get scratched out, now and then, GS...thank you Kitties wear veils, DS? Show me...  Dixie, sometimes I have to take the good with the bad. Thank you! James, the poem is base...period. Thank you LeeJ...it's nice to be read by you. RedDreams, welcome to Passions. You hit the nail on the head. Yes, you do know me. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
but envy wears me for all who seek you or is it jealous love that veils me now…for you are free to play and seek the lips of others, as mine reach for you… These lines... written gently... but how they grab!!! Excellent write! |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
A good poem invites at least a second look holding back just enough to bring a reader closer in. Whittling down for length is good as long as none of the message is scratched. I read this...a few times. Enjoyed Poets against the war is redundant |
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